But How Could You?

I am so full of rage and hated, I don't want to be but I am. I guess I don't really have much of a life, it seems to be the burden of all trans and non-binary people to live harsh lives full of sorrow. Now my life isn't bad because I am non-binary, I am closeted after all but my gender does play a part no matter how I am hidden.

Today started out okay, I guess. I did a food shop with my mother in town, one woman who apperently gendered wrapping paper called me a "girl" but I didn't say anything. I get it, narrow minded people associate breasts with being a "girl" but at nineteen am I really even in the right age range for that? But then again I do call myself an enby which is the closted thing to an non-binary equalifient. I wish for was more words to describe me. But in whole the trip was great, I could pretend I was normal for once.

But then I came out. My mother's loser-jerk of a husband had invadied and violented my privacy. I was so angry that I screamed and yelled at him; I can't believe she remarried him sometimes. When she divorced him I finally believed that I could truly be part of the family. How wrong was I? Either way after everything he did to me she still decided to take him back.

Its ironic her sister and my sister had one fight and she totally cuts my auntie out of her life for my sister yet she was okay to force me to move back in with that lowlife. I once asked that I never had to see him, he was still in our house the whole time. She's can't do nothing for me, she doesn't care to even try.

Its not like this is the first time, the man has always always resented me. Growing up I was repeately told to "go fuck off and find your real Dad" and reminded completely as my status as a bastard child. When they first seperated he even called me up and told me I wasn't allowed to even speak to my own sister. Its a joke really, everyone pretends he loves me and in reality he goes out of his way to make me feel so worthless that I have self harmed and tried to commit suicide. He hates me but no one cares.

When I was out about my gender identity he was cruel, heartless and transphobic. I believe I have mentioned before how he'd purposely misgender me and tell me I was "born female" even though I wasn't. I was born pangender but defined female at birth because of my vagina. He's a heartless man and I hate him.

I know this may seem harsh but I hate her too. I hate her for knowing everything he has ever done to me, even agreeing that it was wrong and still remarrying him forcing me to live with him. Once I have the means to move out I don't see myself visiting. Even though I still love my mother I never want to be near him. As far as I'm concerned he's an emotional abuser and she doesn't care less.

I wonder why everyone hates me. I feel so trapped without a computer. I want to apply to diffferent housing associations and charities for housing, I want to find a job to support myself so I can move out and far away, I just want to be free. I want to run away where I can be myself and live according to my gender and maybe even do a somewhat type of transistion.

Sometimes it seems the only way I'll be free is in death.

Confessions Of Morgan.

I believe my last blog post was an upsetting one, one written in the mist of depression and a broken heart. I still sometimes wonder why I am so different? Is there something wrong with me? Maybe some children are just born evil and twisted and unlovable.

I am rarely on Twitter now but I am trying to change this. I have also made several drafts but due to still no computer access of my own I have not been able to publish. I can not remember if this was published or written in a draft somewhere but I did start a new job. My step-father hired me part-time for two days a week. I feel like such a fool when I look back at my drafts because I wrote how excited I was. I worked have worked so hard; I had always taken such pride in my work even at a previous job where I was meet with sexism and even a sexual harassment comment. But I was fired after two weeks. I should have known based on past experiences that he would be a jerk about it. He's too unprofessional and has too much resentment towards me. I wasn't fired for anything I did on the top, I was fired outside work for not allowing to throw his seventeen year old daughter's clothes down the stairs. I'll be honest, I was heartbroken. Even though I should be used to this by now, the very reason I took out my phone contracts was because he would take the phone away from whenever he paid for them. He hates me. He hates me and no one cares.

It's like the same day he fired me he came into my room that night. He called me an ungrateful dyke and told me how he was giving all his "grateful" children money. No one listens though, no they listen they just don't care. My mother has turned into a joke; she keeps yelling at me and claiming he planned on giving me money too, that its all in my head and that I turned him down. He never offered me money. I honestly can't even picture him doing a nice thing for me. She tells me stories sometimes of how he'd do nice things for me when I was little....funny how that was before he had any children of his own. I suppose I could crush her fantasties by showing her the texts I sent my friend just moments after he had. We spent ten minutes laughing at how immature and pathetic he was.

I know none of them could love me. I tried coming out to them as pangender and look how that turned out. If they can not expect my gender identity, if they can not care about my dysphoria, if they can not even be willing to use my correct pronouns then how can they even claim to love me? What they love is the idea of what they have pictured in their heads. They love the closeted illusion I protray but they don't love the real me. The one deep down inside.

I wish I had happier things to write about but I don't. When you are a non-binary person who can not even bind or take hornmones then life just isn't happy. I think my dysphoria may have caused some depression too. I know I do have depression but I am starting to believe that some of my depression may be dysphoria based.

I wish I had someone to turn too, someone I could take to about these things, someone who would listen and not judge. No one really understands what it is like for me. And how could anyone? I hurts that no one even tries though.

I feel so alone and lost and I'm always hurting. I spent Samhain alone this year; I am not expecting a conversion but just some understanding would be nice. I know I'll spend Yule alone yet be expected to join in the Christmas celebration. What is the point in Christmas anyway? Jesus, if he was even real, was born in the spring.

Does Nobody Love Me?

You know that feeling that you're unwanted? That you shouldn't be around and that everyone would be better off without you? Well to me that's not a feeling. To me its an everyday reality.

I never understand why people actually think being queer is a choice because being queer can be one of the worst things to happen to a person. Why would anyone choose to be so hated by everyone that self-harm has just become a norm? Why would anyone choose to be so lonely and ignored that crying is an everyday occurance. I wonder how many people know that I cry myself to sleep everynight. Its so hard; I just want to be loved and I actually can't name a single person who does love me. I'm a loser, I'm a loser with no life and a family that would be better off without me.

I have actually known for a while that I wasn't really apart of the family, that I just sort of existed. I tried so hard to make things better, I spent all my money of gifts, I retreated back into the closet and I tried spending more time with the family. I guess I thought that if I was this perfect child of their dreams maybe just maybe I'll be wanted and loved and everything would be okay. But you can't make people love you, you can't change their minds, you can't do anything.

Yesterday I kicked my sister in the face. She threw a bottle at me for simply mentioning my Auntie. She's always lashing out, whenever I swear, whenever I comtempete drinking with friends, whenecer I say something she decides she doesn't like. I live in fear of her, she's violent and aggressive. She hits my Mam too if my Mam feels self conscious about her weight. I know it seems harsh but I don't love my sister. I really really don't. We used to be close but how can you possibly love someone who hurts you all the time? So I guess this time something snapped inside me and I hit her back twice as hard. Well....I kicked her. I know violence is wrong and that yes I can have seriously hurt her but....that realisation that her life is valued more then mine hurt.

I'm not saying I was in any danger from the bottle but while living in our precious house my sister tried to push me down the stairs. I would have fallen had I not managed to grab onto the banister. My glasses had fallen off and I pulled a muscle and bruised my arm where I saved myself.

During that time my sister got none of the treatment I am getting. None of the threats of having a job removed, none of the threats of being made homeless, not being told that they will never feel the same about me again; in fact what's worse was they were more angry that I had told her she was dead to me after she tried to push me down the stairs then that she had tried to push me down the stairs.

I guess that is what is upsetting about this whole thing; I am being ignored and felt to cry while dealing with the realisation that my life is valued less then my sister's no matter what I try.

They say they I should apologise but I don't think I will. In fact I know I won't. I've never had one sorry of her so why should I bother? I don't care about being the bigger person, I don't even care about life anymore.

Earlier I filled a glass with blench. I was fully intent of drinking the whole thing but I didn't. My mother is having her birthday dinner tomorrow, no matter how much she hates me I can not bring myself to hate her or ruin her celebrations so I tipped the glass out.

I don't want to be here. What is the point if no one loves you? I guess I must be a hard child to love. I am a bastard, a child born out of wedlock to an overly religious Christian woman....I suppose I am a reminder of sin and mistakes. There's also the queer thing too....its no secret to those who read this blog that I experience a lot of discrimination in my own home. Maybe its a combinated thing, maybe its just one of them, maybe its because I am a twice college drop out who caught fired from my first job. There are so many reasons I suppose someone could hate me. It could even be that I threw away Christianity and converted to Wicca.

Its a shame because I was once offered to move in with my Auntie but I turned her down. I turned her down because I loved my mother and I hoped I was wrong and that she loved me too. I guess I was wrong....I was right when I knew she didn't love me. I would give anything to move out now. I hate it here. I really really hate it.

I won't talk for much longer; my laptop is too expensive to fix and I am using Blogger's phone app. I don't like using the app, I am paranoid about spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes and that I am writing an ramblimg mess that no one can understand but I just needed to open up. My blog is the only one I can turn too.

I hate myself. I really do. What is so wrong with me that everyone hates me? This is why I laugh when people say being queer is a choice. No one chooses this. No one.

Wicca On Non-Binary Genders And Intersex

I am not sure if I have mentioned it before but I am Wiccan. More specifically I consider myself an Eclectic Solitary Wiccan. In all religions it does fall on the question are queer people accepted in the religion? 

Wicca is not an organised religion by a sense. Wicca is a branch of paganism but many different Wiccans follow different paths and worship different deities and have different beliefs. Even if the same coven it is rare that two different Wiccans will hold the very same beliefs but many will be similar.

When it comes to non-binary genders I am referring to those who are made up by transphobic teenagers who have special snowflake syndrome, I am referring to the very real non-binary people who desire both genitals, or none or even moving fluidly between genders. Transgenderism is not a choice as many want it to be because they wish to deny that they hold any privilege, transgenderism is caused when a person's mind holds a mismatch to their genitals they have. For example I was born with a vagina and breasts and uterus but I have dysphoria that means sometimes I want no breasts and no genitalia, sometimes I want no breasts and a penis, sometimes I want breasts and a vagina, sometimes I want breasts and a vagina and penis, and sometimes I want no breasts and a vagina and a penis. That is what is it. Now I am not in a coven, but I would like to be, so I might not be the best person to talk about this as I do not have much experience facing discrimination within Wiccan or Pagan groups. 

However it is a general rule that within Paganism and Wicca itself that being transgender or non-binary people are accepted into individual study groups, covens, communities and circles. In fact this inclusion where sexual orientation and gender identity are not meant with hostility that draws many queer people towards Wicca, myself included. It is a heartwarming experience to fully embrace a religion that does not view you as a sin or immoral or an abomination. For those who haven't read the 'Energetic Boundaries' study guide by Karla McLaren it states that transgender people are magickal people. I believe this also implies to non-binary people as some people do not separate non-binary and transgender-which is in their rights to class themselves as transgender or not. 

That being said there are some individual paths within Wicca which are not so accepting to due an large emphasis of a union between man and women. Not only does this exclude transgender people but non-binary people who do not identify as male or female as well as queer people who are attracted to the same-sex.  Dianic Wicca is one of those which are notorious for being transphobic due to their belief that people have certain spiritual qualities deprived from biological sex. However I do believe that such groups are a minority while the majority are accepting.

As for acceptance of intersex individuals I am not intersex myself so my assessment is not based on personal experience but based on extensive research into Wicca and all its various paths as well as speaking in various forums. There is a lot of God and Goddess imagery but there is not open bigotry as far as I can see. People can not help how they are born after all and regardless of genitals many do respect that we are all human beings. Some do want to press "gender corrective" surgery but most are very accepting and open minded. Intersex people as well as those who are non-binary can chose whichever role they most identify with, feminine or masculine.  

In whole I do not find much issue being queer with Paganism or Wicca itself. While as in all groups there is some bigotry there is far more acceptance. In the Wiccan Rede it states 'as ye harms none, do as ye will' and a lot of Wiccans takes to mean open acceptance and tolerance towards all. I as an pansexual pangender Wicca have never been meet with open hatred or ignorance when around other Wiccans in real life or via the internet. I have always been meet with openness and understanding. Sometimes I have to explain what pangendered is but everyone is very welcome to learning and understanding. I am personally not against educating people. 

I know this is another short post and for that I apologise deeply but I don't believe I have anything left to say about being non-binary and intersex within Wicca. I don't want to repeat myself so I shall leave it as this. I hope I have helped people understand what it means to be non-binary within Wicca. I like to think that this blog isn't just helpful to me but helpful to everyone else too. 

Hidden In Plain Sight

I know it has been so long but I needed to take time away. Everything is so hard lately. I just don't know how to put everything in to words but I am hoping it will be therapeutic for me. I have always found opening up to be therapeutic and helpful to me. 

Most of you have been here before. Many of you know that my name is Morgan Taylor Kaged and that I am pangender. That I do not feel like I am a "women" but rather that I was born with the wrong genitals. Many of you also know that since I have came out that family life has not been easy for me. That I faced with daily bigotry and ignorance and erasure. That I have contemplated and hoped to move out. Recently in the time we have been parted I have done something that be made out of internalised hatred or maybe just desperation to be accepted. I have gone back into the closet about my gender as it were. I have hidden myself from people who are supposed to love and accept me no matter what. I pretend to be cisgender in the home where I live in secrets. Everyday I hear the words "daughter" and "she" and "sister" and I can not speak up, I can not defend myself. 

I have started roleplaying again; this gives me peace. It is fun and friendly and I don't have to worry about a thing. I have a Scott McCall role playing account on Tumblr at littleredtruealpha but have unfortunately had to go on a hiatus. My laptop is currently broke; it has been on its last legs for some time now. What happened was when my little brother pushed my laptop off my lap the pin on the hard drive broke. Its been sent off but I have to wait a week or two before the hard drive can be replaced. My computer skills are limited and I unfortunately do not know enough to replace an whole hard drive but I am learning to advance my skills. I enjoy computers a lot so learning more would be great. 

I am also starting a new job in October. My step-father gave me a part time job in his office for two days. Its eight hours and its a quiet office. I can manage that. When it comes to the "adult world" sometimes I find that my Autism prevents me from fully experiencing the world. That it makes everyday tasks harder and sometimes I can not cope. I am happy for this opportunity to work and earn some money for myself even though it means I must face hearing "miss" instead of "mx" which is my legal title. I am too nervous to correct this though as well I would have no way to not come out of the closet at home. I will have to suffer in silence. 

It hurts that after months and months of being free that I must trap myself once more but it was so hard. I couldn't take the consent bigotry, I was not strong enough. Yes I am a coward but I will willingly admit to being one. I know I am harming the non-binary community by my actions but I can not help it. I am also a coward as I am a avid activist. I stand for rights for non-binary genders and sexes but I do not have the courage to be open in my own home. I still openly out on Facebook and with my friends though. I find that I have been blessed to have wonderful and acceptable friends. I just wish the same could be said of my family. 

In the meantime I will focus more on my writing again. I will admit in my time away I was not focusing as much but now I am ready. If I can not be open then I shall do my best to normalise non-binary genders and intersex individuals as well as homosexual, bisexual, asexual and pansexual individuals. Maybe if I normalise them then I can make the world a better place, one where I can more easily come out and be myself.

I am also considering deleting my Tumblr and starting a new one free from fandom wank. I do love to engage in social justice within fandom areas but I joined Tumblr to escape the real world not deal with issues. However misogyny and femmephobia are rampant within fandoms as well as racism so I am not sure I can simply ignore it. In my own fandoms I have seen ableism grow everyday....it is something I am considering but it is not finale yet. I have until my computer is fixed to decide I suppose. 

I believe this to be short post, especially from someone who has been away for so long. However I have nothing more to say and at this point I would be endlessly repeating myself. I will try to communicate more often as I feel this blog is not only helpful to me but helpful to everyone else who reads as well. It is nice for everyone to know that they are not alone. 

Hello Again

It has been over a month since I last blogged. I have made several posts in the time I have been away but they all ended up unfinished and in drafts. I am still active on Tumblr, I am not going anywhere. I do still hope to educate people and offer insight to what it means to be pangender. This is still an active blog and I hope to be able to update more regularly again. Just so much emotional stuff has happened and its put a damper on my writing and prevented me from finishing blog posts. 

I am now open as pangender in my family home. It didn't make anything easier but harder. No one seems to use the right pronouns and I am repeatedly introduced as "daughter" and "sister". I have expressed my discomfort with this many times but I am always meet with that everything about my gender is just too confusing to them. This is so hard and it hurts and sometimes does lead to self harming. I am not suicidal but I do have depression and find sometimes causing myself physical pain helps cope with the emotional pain however unhealthy that may be. It has been my coping device since I was very young and have seen a psychologist about it. Misgendering seems to be around me in my everyday life and this causing me a lot of issues. I thought being pangender would open up a kinder home to me but that is not the case at all. My step-father for the second time seems hell bent on reminding me that "breasts" and "vagina" must mean I am a "girl" no matter how many times I try to be seen as a pangender enby. My family life is no more open to my gender identity then they are about my sexual orientation. I want to move out more then ever but it doesn't seem like that's going to happen soon. The council hasn't gotten back to me about council housing yet and I have no money of myself. I have applied a few times to Job Seekers but so far nothing has been done. 

My mother is remarried and I did end up going to the wedding. Not because I wanted too but because of some horrible deal. I am in debt with the bank and do owe them £98.70 pound and am no closer to get a job or any source of income and its actually really frightening. I made an agreement to go to their wedding if they made my debt which so far they have yet to do. The wedding in general was just awful. I looked disgusting. Maybe that is lack of confidence. I am unhappy with my hair and I was dressed in a shirt that belonged to my mother and old work trousers. Everything was too tight and I was having a really dysphoric day and resented my "female" body. I didn't like my curves and my breasts seemed thousands times bigger to me then they actually were and being surrounded by so many eyes made me self concious. I have made a few comments about wanting a binder for days where I just can't stand my "female" body however I just know I won't get one unless I can magically find the money myself. The whole time I was at the wedding I left more and more out of place and that I didn't belong in the family. I don't feel like I'm a real part of the family, I am just an outsider who lives in the house who they don't even respect enough to properly gender. I was never part of a close happy family but I always thought I had something....after the wedding I realised how wrong I was. I was just a space. Just there without any real meaning. 

The whole family, minus myself, is now in Italy on holiday. Them being away has had some benefits for me. I have not hurt myself once and I don't have to deal with people misgendering me. I feel I have been happier since they have left and more myself. I don't have to deal with the hard stuff and I am considering cutting off my hair and trying to reach a style that suits me more and makes me more comfortable. Recently I am loving the more shorter styles lately and luckily I do have a friend who took a hairdressing course in college and if I need a free haircut I can ask her and pay her back with a delicious meal. I can make some great vegan pasta with sauce and vegan fish-styled stakes with she might enjoy. I have actually got the house to myself for the whole two weeks, everyone has already been gone for almost a whole week. I have plenty of food and am able to do with the cleaning. If anything this will be a positive experience for me for when I do live on my owe. I have proven that I do indeed know how to take care of myself. I can manage fine on my own.....I just need a job so I can provide for myself. Or at the very least benefits until I can get a job. I do know that now emotionally and mentally I can cope fine on my own and that it would even be better for my mental health. Money is still an issue and I do need to find a place on my own if the council don't respond. I don't know how long I will be on the waiting list for but for now I am on one. 

I think that's all the news I have to share. Everything has happened for a while and I am glad that I can respond now and message back everything. I also want to make more fashions for non-binary and genderqueer people. For me personally sometimes its hard because everything is so focused on the gender binary. What would be amazing would be shops specially for non-binary people. I also want to start writing more of my own works as well as fan fictions. My favourite fan fictions are the ones that focus on non-binary genderbends on the characters or even trans genderbends. Sadly there seems to be little of this but very cisgender based fan fiction. I would love to focus on that. Especially pangender characters. In my head I might start reading all my favourite characters as pangender. I just want to see more pangender representation as well as more trans and non-binary representation. 

That's what is so important when I write. Making sure people can find characters that they can relate too on a gender identity and sexual orientation level which is important. I want cisgender and heterosexual to stop being the norm, the default. Until stated I don't want people to assume characters are cisgender or heterosexual. Representation is important because I don't want people to assume or even demand that I must be a woman because I have a vagina and a uterus. I want people to see no matter how I dress or how I chose to present myself that I am pangender. I am a pangender enby and I am happy with myself. I want people to see me for who I am. Not the gender they try to force on me. The binarist world we live in where it is "pink for girls, blue for boys" and often tries to ignore my gender. Erasure and discrimination are part of my daily life, I guess that's why I love the internet so much. I'm safe online for the most part and often find more people who will respect me.

There is enough non-binary erasure in the English language and many other languages. I have looked into inventing my own words and using them in everyday life. If I study linguistics and add my new words to online dictionaries and use them in my books then hopefully they will catch on and everyone can use words that they like. I'm not sure how translation would work but I assume this would encourage people of other languages to create more words to "fit" non-binary people too. If words can become a part of the English language and well used then non-binary people won't be discriminated against as much. Erasure is a large part of discrimination that non-binary people face.

I wanted to say a lot more on my return but I don't know what else I can put into words. Everything is complicated. Given Tumblr's fake social justice obsession to police pangender people and make unfair accusations against us I am determined to set up a secondary Tumblr to educate more people and offer a safe space for pangender people facing prejudice. This is still a works in process but something I do want to do and probably well. Pangender should not be shut out of our own community but welcomed liked everyone else. We are not criminals and this bullying only exists on Tumblr. Tumblr is suppose to be a safe space but there is not safe space for people who are pangender.

But now I leave and continue to blog tomorrow. 

Western Saviourism

I think the term "white saviour" has long been used to apply to white protagonists who have made it their life's mission to save poorer non-white people from slavery, poverty, sex work-no matter how consensual-and then glorifying their "work" so it becomes more about what a great person they are, this white person helping all these non-white people more then the people in this predicaments in the first place. However in recent more Tumblr days I am starting to believe in "western saviourism", which all western people of all races can do.

"Western saviourism" is like "white saviourism" as in western people make it their life's mission to protect the poorer non-western people from cultural appropriation by glorifying their "work" and cultural segregation and ignorance on the topic. Some people now refuse to eat Chinese food from restaurants because they claim its appropriating Chinese culture; neglecting the fact that majority if not all Chinese restaurants are run by Chinese families who would have no income other then their earnings from their Chinese restaurant. If an immigrate family can not earn money, unless they are asylum seekers, they will be deported back. Its also worth noting that eating Chinese food from Chinese restaurants run by Chinese families is not cultural appropriation but cultural exchange and to deny cultural exchange is cultural segregation. Cultural segregation just enforces western supremacy and is ignorant. If someone refused to eat Arabic food on the grounds that it was not part of their culture, as someone of Yemeni heritage, I would not see this as a sign of respect for my culture but would be offended that they did not want to partake in my cultural foods.

A good example of western saviourism is Avril Lavigne's 'Hello Kitty' music video. Many Japanese-Americans or British Japanese people said how offensive and racist the video was and said that native Japanese people living in Japan did not understand racism or oppression. Western Japanese "protected" Japanese people living in Japan by telling them they should find this video racist and offensive.

As a pangender person I find myself faced with western saviourism and having to defend my gender all the time, even in the pangender tag which is suppose to be a safe space for pangender individuals to go. I should not have to explain or fight for my gender, people should be allowed to identify as any gender they want.

The claim that pangender is cultural appropriation of gender is not only hurtful and false, but wrong. I have spoken about this issue before on this blog here and I have made posts on Tumblr about the very same issues here, here, here, here, and here. I am always always having to defend myself and other pangenders who are attacked because people do not understand how pangender works.

Pangender is not cultural appropriation; the idea behind pangender being cultural appropriation actually lies within western supremacy and racism in itself. When discussing gender is important to understand that no one can help their gender; gender is a psychological thing. How to be a girl? Feel like a girl. How to be a boy? Feel like a boy. How to be an enby? Feel like an enby. How to be a neut? Feel like a neut. How to be genderless? Feel like genderless. Another important thing to remember is that gender is a social construct, but so is race. Does that make race any less real? No of course not. Cisgender, transgender, bigender, pangender etc are all just labels we have created to help define how we feel about our gender identity. No one person feels the same about their gender as someone else who is the same gender, therefore it is impossible to some up all pangender people as racists.

Until the 1950s in western culture gender and sex were treated as the same. Gender was not a concept we were familiar with just sex. Vagina = girl and penis = boy. Transgender boys and girls were not considered not to be the wrong gender but to be in the wrong bodily autonomy which is where the term transexual came to be. Many other cultures around the world have viewed gender and genitals different and had different gender identities; each culture often as its own way of determining and defining what gender is each with its own term. Its all very complex and I am not the best teacher as I did not take gender studies in college, but have done some research over the internet and in a couple of books. I understand the fundamentals and basics but not enough for a full lesson on cultural genders. However to simply state that pangender includes genders outside the western binary system implies that all cultures see gender and sex the same as we do. This not only enforces western supremacy but is racist. The world does not conform to western standards and ideals and nor should it.

Pangender really means all genders within western culture. Pan does not always mean everything. Such as pantheism is not the belief in all religions and Gods, but the belief that the universe is whole is a God. Yes that definition is way over simplified, especially for someone who did take religious studies as a GCSE but the principle still applies.

When you say pangender is cultural appropriation you are hurting people like me. People who have done nothing wrong to anyone. My mother is biracial, a lot of my family is brown or black, including three of my siblings who are also biracial, I am part of a duo-culture. The last thing I would ever do is appropriate someone else' culture when it deeply hurts and effects me when someone appropriates my Arab or Welsh culture. When you attack someone because of their gender identity you are stripping them of their humanity and invalidating them. You are policing identity and resemble transmedicalists who enforce the binary system and don't believe non-binary people experience gender dysphoria. (While not only are many non-binary do actually experience gender dysporia, they also experience social dysphoria.) I have experienced a lot of dysphoria over the nears which has resulted in eating disorders, suicide attempts and self harming. I still do experience dysphoria but now I can often handle it better where I am not putting myself at risk.

I think many people forget that when they rob pangender enbys of their gender identity they can trigger dysphoria and cause a great deal of anxiety, stress, upset, and dysthymia (chronic depression). Denying someone their gender is a violation of human rights in my eyes, also using cultural appropriation as a reason to bully and attack pangenders desensitizes and trivializes the seriousness issues associated with cultural appropriation.

Just let me be me. I am pangender. I am not hurting anyone but you are hurting me.