The Murder Of Jesse Hernamdaz

This blog is used to discuss insight on being LGBT and living in Wales. However there is a news case which needs to be looked upon from the racism and lesbianphobia point of view, especially from someone who is non-binary.

 

The case is teenage Jesse Hernamdaz, a lesbian Latino who was murdered by police officers over a car. Yes that's right, she wasn't dangerous but the car happened to be valued more then brown lives. Jesse, along with four other friends, stole a car. Yes theft it wrong and no one is trying to justify that she's stealing a car but Jesse is not the first teenager to joyride. Sometimes teenagers screw up and make mistakes. The issue is not that she committed theft is that police officers in Denver opened fire on a car full of teenagers and killed Jesse. They were just children; can you imagine the fear and horror they must have been feeling? In schools we are taught from a young age that police are the "good guys" and they are going to protect us but here they are murdering a teenager?

 

But what happened?

 

On the 26th January police were called over what was described as "suspicious" vehicle, the car was stolen and had five teenagers messing around in it. Taking videos, laughing and having a good time. None of these children were doing anything dangerous, none of them were doing anything that meant lethal force would have been necessary. It was a parked car with teenagers listening to music. Now what police officers would have done is question the teenagers, run the number plates and made peaceful arrests. That's how it goes when children are joyriding.  You give them a slap on the wrist-of course never literally-and you hope the process of being caught makes them never want to joyride again. That's not what happened in Denver.

 

Police approached the car and started yelling for the teenagers to get out of the car. A scary experience for a group of teenagers to have police officers yelling at them. Before they got process what was going on a police officer fired as Jesse from the window. You're sixteen and you've just been shot. I can not imagine how terrified Jesse and her friends were, they must have been so terrified beyond belief. How is a car worth more then the life of a sixteen year old child? These children weren't doing anything that required brute force, just cowardly police officers who opened fire on a car full of children. Jesse then started the car and one of the police officers got hit. Jesse was being shot at, she was a scared sixteen year old who had no one around to protect her. She either hit the police officer in self defence as he was firing bullets at her or in accident as she tried to get the car full of her friends away to safety. Police however kept firing bullets into Jesse until she was dead so we'll never hear her story. They silenced her, they murdered her.

 

Unfortunately the ordeal they experienced was not over.  The four other passengers were left screaming and terrified as they watched helpless as police officers dragged Jesse's dead body from the car, handcuff her and search her before leaving her on the floor. A video captured this, Jesse is limp, motionless and unresponsive as police officers move around her, rolling her on her stomach and back searching her. Eyewitnesses stated that they could hear the terrified teenagers screaming that she was dead. This trauma they'll have to live with for the rest of their life. Jesse was murdered in cold blood; that somehow stealing a car justifies being murdered. Yes theft is a crime but last time I checked murder was a more serious crime.

 

Here's the thing Jesse was brown. She was a brown Latina. She was also dressed in a masculine way. We need to realise that what happened to Jesse was police brutality but it was also a hate crime because Jesse was a brown lesbian Latina. You can make claims that they couldn't possibly know but that's not how bigotry works. Bigotry works based on stereotyping and using that stereotype to fuel their prejudice and ignorance. The terms "you look so white" and "you don't dress like a lesbian" come from that some people don't fit the narrow minded stereotype that bigots want them to fit. Because people aren't so simple to fit into one role but prejudice demands that oppressed people do. Jesse was stereotyped because of the way she dressed. Someone on Twitter posted that gender expression is a privilege that brown and black people don't have, this is because this could mean life or death thanks to white supremacy.

When the police officers saw Jesse's clothing they stereotyped her as a "thug" and a "butch lesbian". Both are always meet with open and deadly violence. Look back at the Travon Martin case, Travon was a teenager who was murdered after being stalked about he was wearing a hoodie. Travon went out to buy a bag of Skittles and was seen as a "thug" because he wore a hoodie. George Zimmerman decided that Travon was a thug because he was black and in a hoodie. A more recent case is that of Mike Brown, another black youth who was murdered by a police officer simply because he was stereotyped as a thug based on what he was wearing. I walk though the streets and see teenagers in hoodies and baseball caps and sweat pants or baggy jeans and scuffy teenagers all the time, its just street fashion. They all want to dress "edgy" and look the same as their friends, we sometimes forget that boys face social pressures of dressing fashionable as well. However a white person is never considered a thug for the way they dressed but when a brown and black person does they are considered a thug and therefore dangerous.

As a DFAB person I know that discrimination is different when you are masculine and when you are feminine. Butch lesbians or lesbians who dress masculine when they don't like the term butch are targets of violence. This is the myth that because a lesbian dresses like a boy she must apparently won't do be a boy-gender expression and sexual orientation are often confused. Jesse didn't want to be a boy she just enjoyed more "masculine" clothing as oppressed to dresses and pink t-shirts. There are some days that I dress more masculine then I do feminine. In a world where the minute a straight girl wants to dress more "tomboyish" she's automatically seen as a lesbian until she gets a boyfriend what do you think this means for lesbians? The butch lesbian is the "default" image of a lesbian, ignorance leads people to believe that feminine girls are straight and all masculine girls are simply gay. This is hardly realistic but bigotry is never created to be realistic. I remember reading a news report on Pink News a few years back about a lesbian parent was beaten brutality because she was butch. In the attacker's mind she wanted to be man so he'd treat her like a man, even though she was reported crying and pleading and reaffirming that she was female. Butch lesbians are faced with more physical assault and violence.

As we have a brown lesbian who's sitting in a stolen car. Police walked over to her and once they get a good look at her their minds jump to "thug." "dyke". They stopped caring about the law and they stopped caring about the life of a brown lesbian. This was a hate crime, this is why everyone should care including the non-binary community. Jesse could have been all of us. Anyone of us could be dressed masculinely and many of us are brown.

Some people don't think stereotyping is harmful or hurts anyone. Jesse proves that it does. She was murdered because of her appearance. She was murdered because cars are valued more then the life of a brown child. Jesse's parents will never see their daughter again, they won't be able to visit her graduation because Jesse will never be able to graduate, they won't be able to see Jesse off the college because Jesse will never be able to go to college, they won't be able to ever see Jesse again because Jesse was murdered over a car. The police who opened fire on a car full of unarmed teenagers aren't be charged with murder even though they killed a child and endangered four more. They are being allowed to continue their life and Jesse will never be able to live her dreams, grow up, experience the world, even wake up.

Jesse was a victim of racism and lesbianphobia. We need to address this as a hate crime because it was a hate crime. Jesse was murdered and police brutality needs to be addressed. Why did they even need to be weapons to investigate a car full of unarmed teenagers? Why wasn't Jesse given the chance to exit the car? Why was the first reaction of every racist police officer to murder unarmed children like Jesse?

Chivalry In Non-Binary

I don't know if its the patriotic British in me that gives me my fascination with royalty and nobility and knights or if its something else but I do. I love the whole highness thing, right down to chivalry. When most people think of chivalry, probably thanks to Americans who have no history of monarchy or knights, think of men holding doors open for women. Ironically a knight would never hold the door open, not out of disrespect but the footmen (normally two out of the household's valets) would be the ones to hold open the door for noblewomen or gentlewomen. As footmen are valets not knights they would not be considered chivalrous and it would be unheard of an knight, a low noblemen, doing the work of a valet. 

So what is chivalry? Chivalry is a code of conduct that knights practised based on honour, valour, bravery, religion and morality. None of these things are not bad things, I believe that chivalry can still exist today within British culture. I also believe atheists can be chivalrous without having a religion. The code was ten simple steps.

1. Thou shalt believe all the Church teaches and shalt observe all its directions.
2. Thou shalt defend the Church.
3. Thou shalt respect all weaknesses, and shalt constitute thyself the defender of them.
4. Thou shalt love thy country in which thou wast born.
5. Thou shalt not recoil before thine enemy.
6. Thou shalt make war against the infidel without cessation and without mercy.
7. Thou shalt perform scrupulously thy feudal duties, if they be not contrary to the Laws Of God.
8. Thou shalt never lie, and shalt remain faithful to thy pledged word.
9. Thou shalt be generous, and give largeness to everyone.
10. Thou shalt be everywhere and always the the champion of right and the good against the injustice and the evil. 

I don't know if anyone here watches 'Game Of Thrones' by you will notice that Ser Jaime Lannister is often treated with disdain because he is a "kingslayer" despite that everyone wanted to kill the King. This is due to that as a knight and a member of the King's Guard Jaime took an oath to protect the King at all costs. Technically while everyone else was just in a rebellion where else Jaime was committing the greatest portrayal for a knight. One could argue that he was being the champion of right and good but remember Jaime never told anyone the reason.

As a Wiccan the code changes slightly for me. I believe we can all apply the code to our philosophical and religious believes. In modern day Britain one can be female and a knight. All knights, both male and female, can be chivalrous. Of course it is worth noting that you do not have to be chivalrous to be a knight, you just have to be bring honour and extinction to the UK. Times have changed and I believe in the common people can be chivalrous and considered such. Even those who are non-binary.

I am a pangender person. I believe that I can follow my Chivalric code. Well male knights are a Sir and female knights are a Dame we have yet to see a title suitable for non-binary people who are given knighthood. I would like to the this changed in the future but until then I shall work on being as chivalrous as I can be. I'll admit I would love the honour of receiving a knighthood but it doesn't seem that the UK have made it possible for non-binary knights. Even most applications and forms I have to fill in don't have the option of Mx. Chivalry is not just for male knights, its not even just for knights. Chivalry is for those who chosen to follow a moral code of honour, valour, patriotism and religious. I am non-binary and I am chivalrous. My chivalric code goes as followed.

1. One shall believe all the Wiccan rede teaches and honour it always. 
2. One shall defend the God and Goddess.
3. One shall respect those who are innocent and defend them always.
4. One shall love and honour the country one was born.
5. One shall not surrender before the enemy.
6. One shall make war against the wicked in interest of defending and protecting the innocent.
7. One shall perform all feudal duties as all as they do not violate the Wiccan rede.
8. One shall never lie and always be faithful to pledged word.
9. One shall be generous and always give what they can.
10. One shall be the Champion of The Right and The Good against The Injustice and The Evil everywhere and always.

Notice how I have used the gender neutral "one" as this is not just for non-binary people, this is for all Wiccans who would like to be chivalrous. I encourage all non-binary to make an effort of chivalry. You can not be knighted, we can not receive honours, we are trapped in a world of hatred and erasure, we need to remember to stay true to who we are. I believe that a Chivalric code can give us a sense of who to support in times of terror, in times where justice is blurred. I believe that Chivalric code will who us with extinction, will show us with honour.

I fully believe that there is nothing that prevents non-binary people from being chivalrous. Chivalry was never gendered but used commonly in a time of great sexism; however the ideals behind it are something that we should try to keep alive. Perhaps I am being too traditional but really what is wrong with defending my God and Goddess? Or protecting the innocent? Or being generous? This is what chivalry is. I am not sure chivalry is even as dead as many people claim. Looking at this I can think of many people who do chivalrous acts without even realising. I admit greed is rising while generosity is dying but this can be changed. 

I am all for equality but it is equality to support women and non-binary people to act chivalrous if they choose. I am proud to say that I am a chivalrous pangender ouman. 

Queer? The Worst Thing In The World?

I know sometimes I have a tendency to accidentally ignore and neglect my social media and other internet sites. I am trying to change this. I want to become more active again. I'm going to be twenty come this April-a huge mile when you considered this blog was started when I was still just eighteen. I am trying to become my own person and fully embrace myself.

 

I'm having a rather hard day gender wise. I'm all wrong. I don't want my breasts and I want a penis. Sometimes I'm glad I gave myself a gender neutral name like Morgan. But I don't want to talk about my gender dyphoria. I want to talk about a comment made by a close and very good friend of mine on Friday, one that anyone who is LGBTIQA has probably heard a thousand times over. Its born out of simply ignorance and quiet frankly can be frustrating and annoying.

 

Now before I start I want to make it very clear that I am not trying to shame anyone or make accusations. However the purpose of this blog is too discuss and offer insight of certain things for an queer person's perspective. I just want to talk a look into an ignorant comment which I am sure we hear over hundred times a day; however this conversation did inspire me to write my blog. My friend's twenty-first is coming up and either of us are big party going people. We don't go out Friday's nights hitting the nightclubs or waking up in the mornings with massive hangovers. In fact the one time we need decide to go to an nightclub, we changed our mind and went to the cinema instead. So naturally a long night of heavy drinking so no one's idea of fun. Previously we had done cinema trips, bowling trip, and meals out-to us this is a fun way to celebrate our birthdays. But seeing as we are both making some type of income right now I suggested something different as we can afford to go to the cinema more often now. I suggested a trip in the ice rink. My friend loves to watch figure skaters and daydream about figure staking and I went once when I was about twelve or thirteen with a youth group. I enjoyed myself a lot and thought it would be fun, even if we are both lacking in experience. She also thought it would be a great idea but there was one little comment that drawled on me. She didn't want to hold hands because we didn't want people to think she was a lesbian. Now we're not very holdy handy being nineteen and twenty, we hug hello and goodbye but the touchy feely got outgrown along with the embarrassing vampire phase. (Don't get me wrong we still love 'Twilight' but I wouldn't stay we were in a vampire phase anymore-although she can be an bit of an expert on modern vampireism.) So I wonder why this was a comment that even came up.

I don't see ice skating as practically romantic, its a sport after all. Sports can be fun or very professional depending on the person. However what made that comment pop up? I suppose its just basic day old ignorance but it does show the difference between someone who is homosexual or bisexual or pansexual as opposed to someone who is heterosexual. Personally I don't mind if someone confused me as a lesbian. I'm not, not even a girl most days but if I'm feeling a like a "girl" and feminine and I'm walking with a girlfriend or even a gal friend it doesn't bother me. (note I never use girlfriend where I mean gal friend.) Why? Because I am queer, I don't care who knows it despite being rather closeted in the house about my gender. I am more concerned about being attacked in the street or getting slurs thrown at me or other forms of gross discrimination. I'm more worried about street preachers pulling me over to tell me I should burn in hell or political parties trying to revoke my civil rights as a human being. I don't fear being seen as queer I fear the bigotry that comes with it.

I don't really know why being seen as queer is the worst thing in the world. A simple "oh know we're not a couple" is a polite way to correct people but when we as human beings stop showing affection for gal friends and guy friends because we fear that we'll be seen as a queer then maybe we need to stop and think. I want to ask all my straight readers can they really tell me what is the worst thing about being seen as queer? To me it seems ironic that people can claim they love people of all sexualities and even drag about how much LGBTIQA people have crushes and love them but then act so defensive when asked if they are LGBTIQA. I don't see the big deal. Everyone assumes that LGBTIQA are straight until we start locking lips anyway; people always make assumptions based on people. That's probably not a good thing and we should never make assumptions based on people that we do not know. However when its something so small and easily corrected why do we fear doing certain things?

As a white person, even with a biracial mother and being Arab with Romani heritage, I know I have a lot of privilege. Especially how I am not Muslim. People do not consider me Arab unless I tell them, it is my privilege that I can hide my true heritage. I don't have Molotov cocktails thrown into my house and I'm not attacked by the police based on religion or skin colour. I am fully aware that I have a good deal of white privilege, a lot more then a good deal of my own family members. I have a cousin the same age as me who is much darker skinned. We grew up with the same activities and the same interests, yet which one of us received it with more discrimination and prejudice? I force myself to regularly check my privilege and look into areas where people are being discriminated against. I believe we can not call ourselves non-racist until we do this because if we are hiding then we still benefit from the suffering of POC. I feel heterosexual people should spend some time checking their straight privilege and looking how to dismantle this by seeing where LGBTIQA people are discriminated against. For example I don't want to hear people talk about how open minded they are; that doesn't help the countless teenagers who are homeless or escaping abuse simply because they are queer. Now I understand that not everyone can afford to donate to charities like the 'Albert Kennedy Trust' and no should feel guilty for that but it takes nothing to realise that as a straight person you never or never will had to be scared that your living space with your parents would become so uncomfortable or even dangerous that you are forced to move onto the streets. This wouldn't happen if your parent found out you were straight, this is straight privilege. Recognising straight privilege and then raising awareness costs nothing. Look up the average rate of queer homelessness in your area and post about it. Simple things like this go alone way.

Straight privilege is being scared that someone thinks you are a queer, however being queer is being scared that someone will hate you for being queer.