I know sometimes I have a tendency to accidentally ignore and neglect my social media and other internet sites. I am trying to change this. I want to become more active again. I'm going to be twenty come this April-a huge mile when you considered this blog was started when I was still just eighteen. I am trying to become my own person and fully embrace myself.
I'm having a rather hard day gender wise. I'm all wrong. I don't want my breasts and I want a penis. Sometimes I'm glad I gave myself a gender neutral name like Morgan. But I don't want to talk about my gender dyphoria. I want to talk about a comment made by a close and very good friend of mine on Friday, one that anyone who is LGBTIQA has probably heard a thousand times over. Its born out of simply ignorance and quiet frankly can be frustrating and annoying.
Now before I start I want to make it very clear that I am not trying to shame anyone or make accusations. However the purpose of this blog is too discuss and offer insight of certain things for an queer person's perspective. I just want to talk a look into an ignorant comment which I am sure we hear over hundred times a day; however this conversation did inspire me to write my blog. My friend's twenty-first is coming up and either of us are big party going people. We don't go out Friday's nights hitting the nightclubs or waking up in the mornings with massive hangovers. In fact the one time we need decide to go to an nightclub, we changed our mind and went to the cinema instead. So naturally a long night of heavy drinking so no one's idea of fun. Previously we had done cinema trips, bowling trip, and meals out-to us this is a fun way to celebrate our birthdays. But seeing as we are both making some type of income right now I suggested something different as we can afford to go to the cinema more often now. I suggested a trip in the ice rink. My friend loves to watch figure skaters and daydream about figure staking and I went once when I was about twelve or thirteen with a youth group. I enjoyed myself a lot and thought it would be fun, even if we are both lacking in experience. She also thought it would be a great idea but there was one little comment that drawled on me. She didn't want to hold hands because we didn't want people to think she was a lesbian. Now we're not very holdy handy being nineteen and twenty, we hug hello and goodbye but the touchy feely got outgrown along with the embarrassing vampire phase. (Don't get me wrong we still love 'Twilight' but I wouldn't stay we were in a vampire phase anymore-although she can be an bit of an expert on modern vampireism.) So I wonder why this was a comment that even came up.
I don't see ice skating as practically romantic, its a sport after all. Sports can be fun or very professional depending on the person. However what made that comment pop up? I suppose its just basic day old ignorance but it does show the difference between someone who is homosexual or bisexual or pansexual as opposed to someone who is heterosexual. Personally I don't mind if someone confused me as a lesbian. I'm not, not even a girl most days but if I'm feeling a like a "girl" and feminine and I'm walking with a girlfriend or even a gal friend it doesn't bother me. (note I never use girlfriend where I mean gal friend.) Why? Because I am queer, I don't care who knows it despite being rather closeted in the house about my gender. I am more concerned about being attacked in the street or getting slurs thrown at me or other forms of gross discrimination. I'm more worried about street preachers pulling me over to tell me I should burn in hell or political parties trying to revoke my civil rights as a human being. I don't fear being seen as queer I fear the bigotry that comes with it.
I don't really know why being seen as queer is the worst thing in the world. A simple "oh know we're not a couple" is a polite way to correct people but when we as human beings stop showing affection for gal friends and guy friends because we fear that we'll be seen as a queer then maybe we need to stop and think. I want to ask all my straight readers can they really tell me what is the worst thing about being seen as queer? To me it seems ironic that people can claim they love people of all sexualities and even drag about how much LGBTIQA people have crushes and love them but then act so defensive when asked if they are LGBTIQA. I don't see the big deal. Everyone assumes that LGBTIQA are straight until we start locking lips anyway; people always make assumptions based on people. That's probably not a good thing and we should never make assumptions based on people that we do not know. However when its something so small and easily corrected why do we fear doing certain things?
As a white person, even with a biracial mother and being Arab with Romani heritage, I know I have a lot of privilege. Especially how I am not Muslim. People do not consider me Arab unless I tell them, it is my privilege that I can hide my true heritage. I don't have Molotov cocktails thrown into my house and I'm not attacked by the police based on religion or skin colour. I am fully aware that I have a good deal of white privilege, a lot more then a good deal of my own family members. I have a cousin the same age as me who is much darker skinned. We grew up with the same activities and the same interests, yet which one of us received it with more discrimination and prejudice? I force myself to regularly check my privilege and look into areas where people are being discriminated against. I believe we can not call ourselves non-racist until we do this because if we are hiding then we still benefit from the suffering of POC. I feel heterosexual people should spend some time checking their straight privilege and looking how to dismantle this by seeing where LGBTIQA people are discriminated against. For example I don't want to hear people talk about how open minded they are; that doesn't help the countless teenagers who are homeless or escaping abuse simply because they are queer. Now I understand that not everyone can afford to donate to charities like the 'Albert Kennedy Trust' and no should feel guilty for that but it takes nothing to realise that as a straight person you never or never will had to be scared that your living space with your parents would become so uncomfortable or even dangerous that you are forced to move onto the streets. This wouldn't happen if your parent found out you were straight, this is straight privilege. Recognising straight privilege and then raising awareness costs nothing. Look up the average rate of queer homelessness in your area and post about it. Simple things like this go alone way.
Straight privilege is being scared that someone thinks you are a queer, however being queer is being scared that someone will hate you for being queer.
I don't see ice skating as practically romantic, its a sport after all. Sports can be fun or very professional depending on the person. However what made that comment pop up? I suppose its just basic day old ignorance but it does show the difference between someone who is homosexual or bisexual or pansexual as opposed to someone who is heterosexual. Personally I don't mind if someone confused me as a lesbian. I'm not, not even a girl most days but if I'm feeling a like a "girl" and feminine and I'm walking with a girlfriend or even a gal friend it doesn't bother me. (note I never use girlfriend where I mean gal friend.) Why? Because I am queer, I don't care who knows it despite being rather closeted in the house about my gender. I am more concerned about being attacked in the street or getting slurs thrown at me or other forms of gross discrimination. I'm more worried about street preachers pulling me over to tell me I should burn in hell or political parties trying to revoke my civil rights as a human being. I don't fear being seen as queer I fear the bigotry that comes with it.
I don't really know why being seen as queer is the worst thing in the world. A simple "oh know we're not a couple" is a polite way to correct people but when we as human beings stop showing affection for gal friends and guy friends because we fear that we'll be seen as a queer then maybe we need to stop and think. I want to ask all my straight readers can they really tell me what is the worst thing about being seen as queer? To me it seems ironic that people can claim they love people of all sexualities and even drag about how much LGBTIQA people have crushes and love them but then act so defensive when asked if they are LGBTIQA. I don't see the big deal. Everyone assumes that LGBTIQA are straight until we start locking lips anyway; people always make assumptions based on people. That's probably not a good thing and we should never make assumptions based on people that we do not know. However when its something so small and easily corrected why do we fear doing certain things?
As a white person, even with a biracial mother and being Arab with Romani heritage, I know I have a lot of privilege. Especially how I am not Muslim. People do not consider me Arab unless I tell them, it is my privilege that I can hide my true heritage. I don't have Molotov cocktails thrown into my house and I'm not attacked by the police based on religion or skin colour. I am fully aware that I have a good deal of white privilege, a lot more then a good deal of my own family members. I have a cousin the same age as me who is much darker skinned. We grew up with the same activities and the same interests, yet which one of us received it with more discrimination and prejudice? I force myself to regularly check my privilege and look into areas where people are being discriminated against. I believe we can not call ourselves non-racist until we do this because if we are hiding then we still benefit from the suffering of POC. I feel heterosexual people should spend some time checking their straight privilege and looking how to dismantle this by seeing where LGBTIQA people are discriminated against. For example I don't want to hear people talk about how open minded they are; that doesn't help the countless teenagers who are homeless or escaping abuse simply because they are queer. Now I understand that not everyone can afford to donate to charities like the 'Albert Kennedy Trust' and no should feel guilty for that but it takes nothing to realise that as a straight person you never or never will had to be scared that your living space with your parents would become so uncomfortable or even dangerous that you are forced to move onto the streets. This wouldn't happen if your parent found out you were straight, this is straight privilege. Recognising straight privilege and then raising awareness costs nothing. Look up the average rate of queer homelessness in your area and post about it. Simple things like this go alone way.
Straight privilege is being scared that someone thinks you are a queer, however being queer is being scared that someone will hate you for being queer.
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