The Raising Of The UKIP

I live Wales, which is the smallest region within the United Kingdom Of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. I have often spoken freely about politics but never on this blog. I am proudly an avid supporter of the Green Party Of England And Wales and am very active within that party. That is the type of political party I want to run my country, because I know that they care about small communities, the environment, animals and queer rights. Yes they are not perfect, no political party will ever be perfect but I do honestly believe that they are the best we have in the UK. 

However, like many other parts of Europe, the party that is growing the most happens to be one of the more racist and queerphobic political parties we have to offer. UKIP has grained a vast amount of seats and this is alarming and warning to say the least. I remember an occasion in an college history class where some friends of mine were suggesting voting the UKIP as a joke because its not like they would ever get in. I didn't know to explain back then that to people like me it wasn't a joke. Now I seem to be facing that reality as the UKIP get more seats and elections come closer and closer. 

The UKIP are queerphobic, among other things, and I don't care if you say you're not queerphobic because by supporting a queerphobic party you are directly supporting queerphobia and the discrimination of queer individuals who live in the UK. In my eyes that automatically makes you just as bad as the people you are supporting. I can not speak for everyone as some people may view you not as bad but I do view you just as bad, supporting queerphobia makes you an indirect queerphobic because of the choices you are making on who to give your support too. 

But why are the UKIP so bad you may ask? Because the party repeatedly does queerphobic and problematic things which are dangerously harmful towards queer individuals. The campaigners and supports of UKIP have shown time and time again that they are a circle of bigots and full of ignorance, with zero apology ever given when they are called out.

• John Lyndon Sullivan, an candidate for the UKIP, wrote on his public Facebook page "I rather often wonder if we shot one "poofter" (GLBT whatevers), whether the next 99 would decide on balance, that they weren't after all? We might conclude that it's not a matter of genetics, but rather more of education :)". John Lyndon Sullivan used an slur causally like it was no problem, and then decided people could be turned straight if we shot one queer people then everyone who suddenly become straight and if not, just keep shooting them until the "education" sinks in. John Lyndom Sullivan is the very small person who said "homosexuality" could be prevented with physical education, despite many athletes are queer themselves so clearly took part in a lot of physical education and sports clubs when they were younger. This was accepted by the UKIP and nothing was done about it, the UKIP leader Nigel Farage ignored all media coverage and claimed unawareness, but then even after all this he still did nothing to apprehend John Lyndon Sullivan for his queerphobic Facebook status. Both times were left to go unpunished therefore accepted by the UKIP party.
• John Kearney, another candidate for the UKIP, made a statement saying he believes queer people are "promiscuous" and that we resemble "prisoners who need freedom". As virgin I would like to know how I need freedom from being myself Mr. John Kearney. John Kearney then went out to say "The Church Of England will fall very soon and be conducting gay weddings and we will have the neo-Catholics in our church 'giving us their compassionate views', but the Church will stay stonge despite their onslaught. We must pray for the gay community that we see that they are indeed prisoners who need freedom." This was again ignored and accepted by the UKIP party. To UKIP seem to have this notion to be "saved" we must be closeted about our true identity and pretend to be heterosexual cisgender. 
• UKIP doner Demetri Marchessin, the very same man who believes women should be banned from trousers, erases non-binary genders, and has the most wrapped and twisted views of rape has said he believes queer people do not fall in love, so therefore we can not cheat because it's just all about the sex. His exact words were "There is no such thing as fidelity in homosexual relationships. They just all go out looking for action. That's the way it is." Ignoring that many homosexual or other forms of queer relationships do involve deep commitment, love and devotion and that yes cheating does exist to queer people and yes it does hurt no matter what sexual orientation you are. Demetri Marcessin has not once been called by the UKIP for his problematic statements nor does anyone from that party step forward and say they disagree or apologize for him, another sign of the acceptance.
• UKIP Parish Councillor Ian McLaughlan posted on his Facebook page how it was a "tragedy" that Section 28, put in place by former Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher to keep homosexuality from being spoken in schools, was repealed. Ian McLaughlan went on to say how children should be protected against the promotion of queerness, even though I was around heterosexual people all the time growing up I never "turned" straight. His Facebook status read "Children need to be protected from the promotion of homosexuality, Margaret Thatcher was right to enact Section 28 in 1988. And it was a tragedy that it was repealed." Ian McLaughlan has also spoken on Facebook about his support for Russian leader Vladimir Putin banning overseas same-sex couples from adopting children. The UKIP party did not apprehend him on either comments nor has anyone stepped forward to apologize on his behalf. His actions via Facebook were allowed.
• UKIP leader Nigel Farage made remarks on his Newsnight interview with Jermery Paxman that people should be allowed to openly hate on queer people, without any judgement. He then compared to being queerphobic as the same thing as not liking a brand of tea! Expect tea has no feelings or emotions or isn't even alive where the actual very real queer people being hated as they walk down the street certainly do have both feelings and emotions. No one spoke out against their party leader's queerphobic comment and if the person in charge, a potential Prime Minister, is making comments like that then what hope is there that any queerphobia will be called out and stopped? What hope is there that queer individuals will be treated with respect?
• Former UKIP candidate Dr. Julia Gasper has made several disgusting comments. Dr. Gasper wrote that queer people should stop being upset about discrimination and show more gratitude towards straight people for giving birth to us, erasing bisexuality, pansexuality, lithsexuality, anthrosexuality, demisexuality and omnisexuality in the process. Dr. Gasper then moved on to referring to anyone who reads PinkNews as someone who should be sectioned under the Mental Health Act, which is not only queerphobic but ableist as well. Dr. Gasper also used an UKIP forum to brand the queer rights movement a "lunatic charter"-again more ableism going side by side with her bigotry and queerphobia. Dr. Gasper then went on to trying to get phone app Grindr banned and claimed that Daniel Radcliffe and "queer mafia" were responsible for former Mozilla CEO Brendan Eich into stepping down. In more recent news Dr. Gasper has stated that World Aids Day "celebrates" those who "spread" HIV, implying homosexuality despite that heterosexuals can get HIV if they have unprotected sex. The UKIP did not step forward and say that they do not share their views with Dr. Gasper, silently confirming that they do indeed agree with what was said on multiple occasions.
• UKIP Councillor David Silvester blamed queers for the UK floodings we faced and stated that he warned David Cameron that be legalizing equal marriage rights that we'd face serious consequences. Now while we did not get it as bad as some countries do earlier this year the UK did face bad flooding, however it was hardly the work on queer people or the fact that people could now marry anyone their chose. David Silvester was another person the UKIP did not feel the need to correct on his queerphobia and allowed it to go unpunished.
• UKIP Councillor Sam Fletcher said he was "baffled" by Britain's acceptance of queer individuals, especially "female homosexuality" so in other words lesbians. After being called out on this comments, but not by an UKIP member, he claimed he was not queerphobic while dubbing being queer as a "lifestyle choice" which is very queerphobic in itself. That being said I have a hard time taking anyone who can not even use the right size condom seriously. Of course the UKIP did nothing about Sam Fletcher and him finding queer support "strange."

This is the UKIP, they are also highly sexist and racist but I won't go into that right now. This is why I ask all cisgender and heterosexuals to stand up and not support the UKIP. Many queer people face daily is the fear that a political party which hates them will end up with the power to harm them. That is the difference between mean comments towards people who are cisgender or heterosexual or both (not that I condone or encourage mean comments about anyone based on their gender or sexual orientation in the slightest) because those comments will just hurt feelings. Which yes that is bad but not as bad as having the power to do more then just hurt feelings. Queerphobia is still a big issue and I am asking anyone who is not queer to please care more about then just marriage equality but to care for all queer rights. To care that by the time the next UK elections come up in 2015 that the UKIP will have gained more supporters and could gain the majority vote needed to become Prime Minister. Even if we do not support the same party I urge everyone of voting age to vote for any other party then the UKIP in 2015. 

Where Oh Where Do I Go From Here

I am on the housing list and have spoken with the Albert Kennedy Trust, so hopefully I will have a place to live soon. As for my house life....things are complicated and confusing. I want to be so open and honest and live in a space place where the outside world's queerphobia and prejudice and discrimination and nonacceptance and intolerance can't touch me. Where I am free to be whoever I want and express myself so freely. With a political party in my own country (UKIP) openly saying how being queer is not worthy enough to be equal of respect-actual quote from UKIP's Roger Helmer-then surely behind the closed door and safe four walls I can be the panenby I was born to be.

My mother has since apologized, after three days of me crying my eyes out and wondering what was wrong with me that I was born the way I was. She also tried to apply straight tears and talk about how it effected her, because of course she was deeply effected by telling someone who isn't cisgender heterosexual that she doesn't want them to around her son to protect him, mean while he's playing that horrid video game 'Naughty Bear' which is far more horrific and violent then its name suggests for anyone who has not come across it. None the less she has apologized and is trying to be supportive, so I have accepted her apology. I am firm on my decision to move out though. Acceptance should not have no exceptions, no ifs, not buts, it should just be acceptance. Queer individuals should not be treated as if they are more harmful to a child's innocence then the violence in our video games and films and the sex culture that can be found everywhere, including newspapers. Queer individuals are not harmful and are no different to cisgender heterosexuals other then that we are oppressed daily in our lives as the world caters to cisgender and heterosexual individuals, even better if you are both. Some queer people may experience the cisgender bias while some may experience the heterosexual bias but we are still oppressed if we do not have both.

My sort-of-step father (my mother divorced him but she's engaged to him again) has still not apologized nor has he acknowledged that what he said was problematic and queerphobic. He refuses to admit that he made bigoted remarks and spoke with nothing but ignorance. I was erased from existence and yet he can not step out of his cisgender heterosexual bubble to care about other gender identities and sexual orientations that he is erasing for a second. He refuses to recognized that world is automatically catered towards his based on his gender identity and sexual orientation. For now I am refusing to speak to him, I have been silent and ignored his every attempt to communicate. I am also refusing to go to the wedding. Some may call me childish and petty and immature but I don't want to support a union that does not want to support me. If I am not seen as an equal, as someone who should be allowed to be visible then I don't want anything to do with him. I don't see myself as being unreasonable, I see myself taking back my agency. I am not his equal in his eyes as he chooses to try and erase my identity therefore until I am seen as an equal I will not support anything that has to do with him. Hopefully I will have moved out and far away before this wedding takes place.

I'm just an enby living in a country which hates hir whole point of being. Being at home is no longer comfortable, I have a longing desire to buy a binder but now I am too scared of what I will face at home if I do. I want to "pass", there are some days where I want to be seen as a boy, where I wouldn't mind male pronouns and just want to be referred to as a boy. However I was defined female at birth and I do have breasts, breasts which make it impossible to pass as anything but a girl. And most days I don't want to pass as a girl. I do have a preference to the "male" autonomy, I think it looks better but I do enjoy my vagina and breasts. It's shame that I can not have multiple body choices as a pangender, but to do so I would have to undergo shape shifting. I often wish I could just shape shift into my preferred gender, that would make this so much easier. Sadly that only exists in the comics. Where Loki and Mystique are lucky because they be whatever gender they want to be as easily as simply thinking it. I do not have this luxury nor do any non-binary people.

I know this is far far shorter then my previous blog posts, however it has been such a while since I posted I wanted to make sure one was posted today. I had great fun with Malia Week and plan to continue writing fan fiction as well as my own original works plus I do maintain a fashion account specializing in non-binary and genderqueer fashion sets. I am busier now then why I started this blog so I may not be posting as often but I do intent to continue to be an active blog that posts frequently. This isn't much shorter but I am sad to end it here after such a long pause between posts. 

I'm Not Homophobic I Just Don't Want My Son To Know

I actually can't stop crying....I'm heartbroken and crushed and devastated and hurting all over. Everything hurts so much. I don't understand why there is so much hate. I don't understand why people have to hate me, why they can't accept me and why they have to try and force me to lock myself away.

Queer individuals face so much discrimination but I guess I never thought I would face discrimination in my very own home by people suppose to love you forever. I guess it was foolish, naive and ridiculous on my part to actual believe that I lived in a safe bubble. That I could be accepted and loved; which is why I even started this. Because I will go places and feel like I don't belong and shouldn't exist so why should my own home be any different? Why should I have felt like there was a place where I could be safe and belonged and totally accepted by those around me? I guess I was an naive child at nineteen. 

I remember the day I "came out" as pansexual. It was an uplifting experience for me and for the first time ever I felt so free. I still haven't openly admitted to be pangender, other then my sister, and now I'm not sure I want too. I just want to run away and never feel like this again. I am not free, I am faced with oppression in my very own home. I don't understand why there must be intolerance. I still bleed the same, I still cry the same, I still obsess over the same shows, I still eat the same foods, I'm still Morgan Kaged. I'm still the same person I just want people to know I'm queer. I don't fit your heteronormativity or binary but that's your fault for pointing me in a box rather then letting me be who I was born to be. Its silly really, children are just "confused" if their anything but a cisgender heterosexual or that its so harmful for them to know that some people aren't a cisgender heterosexual. Yet they could be watching violence and mild sexual contact on the TV because that's not harmful at all. If we want to protect children maybe we should stop forcing people into a closet and instead focus on 'The Sun's' page three....I always thought pornography was more harmful then just someone like me. 

I don't even know what I did wrong other then being born. I feel like my throat is closing up and my chest keeps getting tight and there is so many tears my vision is blurry. I thought "Malia Week" was going to be so fun for me but....I don't even belong in my own home anymore. I just....I don't belong anyone because I'm different. I'm too queer, too filthy, too much of a freak. 

I cooked myself some pasta but threw the bowl away because I couldn't bring myself to eat. I just felt so isolated I lost my apatite. I just I feel....I don't think I've felt this bad about myself in a while. I just have such a resentment for everything that I am. I wouldn't have these problems if I was born straight or cisgender. I even contemplated gay change therapy but I know that its a waste of time and boardline torture. I am not confused or sick I'm just pansexual. This was never a choice this was just part of who I am. I discovered I liked girls before I discovered I liked boys, non-binary and that really didn't matter what their gender was. I was just a small kid but I knew. 

I was told today by my mother and sorta step-father that even though they still "love" me, they don't want my queerness around their other children. They don't think they'll understand-even though its never been a problem-and say the world is just too homophobic (ignoring how queerphobic is a better term which doesn't erase anyone) for people like me. They'd rather have me silent and shut off in my room then feel free. Feel like my own home is a judgement free zone. My little brother is six years old but plays violent video games, knows how sex works, has seen both my parents naked, still sleeps in their bed, watches violent films, engages in violent play, is contently aggressive, plus both parents have a history of child abuse reports and social workers but of course me not being straight is the problem. If I am so loved why I am being told that out of everything I am the issue? I'm not trying to shame their parenting but if they honestly think that the possibility of me falling in love with someone is more of an issue then some of the violence they allow him to be exposed to then they have a very ignorant and bigoted bias. 

I was accused of shoving it in their face when I have never once brought home an girlfriend or enbyfriend. I was made to feel unloved and unwanted and like a freak and I wish I could say this was a one off. But it's not. There have been countless times where they have made me feel like I'm not fully part of the family, that I shouldn't exist. Whenever I try to explain these actions hurt me I am made to feel like I am wrong from being up my feelings and that I need to respect their point of view. I'm not interest in how a heterosexual cisgender's  person tops mine on queer issues. 

I have put in applications for the council and for Albert Kennedy Trust. I want to be able to move out from all the intolerance. I just want to feel safe in my own home. Is that really too much to ask? I don't know how long it takes but I hope not too long. I don't want to stay somewhere where I am treated like I should be silent for not confirming. 

Queer Fetishizing

I know I have been absent, I have been distracted and today started "Malia Week" on Tumblr which is about appreciating Malia Tate from 'Teen Wolf' who gets far too much hate, all because she kissed a boy. The fandom turned on her, I watched it happen. Yes it meant my ships sunk but there's no reason to slut-shame and berate a teenage girl for kissing the first person who was ever nice to her. I have deicated my Tumblr to Malia for this week and have accepted quite a few prompts that I'm going to try my hardest to write within the week. I've been meaning to write fan fiction again for a while now and now I have an excuse. 

Speaking of which there is an issue that effects me every single day on Tumblr; and that is the fetishization of queer people. To make a queer person nothing but a sex object, to sexualize them, to completely ignore their humanity, to appropriate their rights; its fetishizism of queer people. Its important to realize that fetishizism is not a good thing and just another form of oppression. Tumblr is the beacon of all queer fetishization, especially in form of white cisgender heterosexual men. In the media today there is little to no queer representation and when it is it is generally also in the form of white cisgender men; just look at Klaine from 'Glee' and you will see. 'Shameless' also have a white cisgender pairing representing the whole queer community. There is nothing wrong with white cisgender people and yes those queers do deserve representation too however there is nothing any for non-white or trans, non-binary and genderqueer queers who also deserve representation too. That's another reason queer fetishization is so harmful, its so deeply rooted to white cisgender heterosexual men. Because of queer fetishization it means queer people are reduced to fodder for straight people to fawn over without actually caring about the discrimination, prejudice, hardship or rights of said queer people.

On Tumblr I spend a lot of the time disturbed and a little scared, I have seen countless people take secret photos of two girls or two boys, determine that they are in a relationship, theorize about their sex and love life, give them ship names, talk about how beautiful the children will be because just look at the parents, if they are boys they will go on about how they wish "MPreg" was real-never mind that not all boys have penises-all while claiming they are so open minded to homosexuality. I have seen posts where people go on about how they can't wait for their children to come out as gay, so they can ship them and their boyfriend, talk about boys, let them have sleepovers with boys, wanted to show them all their ships, and laughed about how scared and uncomfortable they'd make their kid.

What is queer fetishizism? Queer fetishizism is when queer individuals are objectified/sexualized usually in order to achieve sexual gratification. However sexual gratification is not always the case. Those who fetishize are always straight people, you can't fetishize your own sexuality. Its also mostly down by white people because many non-white people face racial fetishizing and therefore straight POC are more likely to stay away from it. These people will also always be the one who believe queerbaiting is the same as queer representation and that people like me should be thankful for it. As someone who is an active member of many fandoms I put up with a lot of fetishizing behaviour. When someone has 

• Heteronormative ships, such as someone is always the "girl" and "boy" even though the idea of a some-sex relationships is that there is no "girl and boy" just "girl and girl" or "boy and boy". If there is children they will try and slap on the mammy and daddy labels rather then just two daddies and two mammies. 
• Shipping exclusively white cisgender men or women. 
• Ignoring anyone who isn't white, see the above point about shipping exclusively. In the 'Teen Wolf' fandom this goes as far as to erasing the Latino lead, including cutting him out of gif sets, using his traits and passing them down to others, etc etc. I once saw a gif set about Derek Hale which had the quotation of a line that was said to Scott about Scott. 
• Writing out women/men, killing off women/men, bashing women/men for "getting in the way of", and all general dislike for someone of the opposite who did as much as hug the person you are fetishzing.
• Transphobia, this is strong in male/male pairings with MPreg which completely erases trans men and that some actual men do in fact get pregnant.
• Ignoring canonically queer characters for your canonically straight characters. Such as in 'Supernatural' Charlie, a canonical lesbian, is ignored or used as a prop for 'Supernatural's' queer fetishizing ship Destiel. 
• Shipping the real life actors of your said pairing to the point of disregarding the induvuals' sexual identities and accusing any significant others of being cover ups.
• Treating your shipping as activism also known as Fangirl Activism. Such as I saw a 'Sherlock' fangirl paste the symbol for equality marriage over a photo of Sherlock and John, even though this is a big deal for many actual queer people.
• Ignoring, belittling, harassing or verbally abusing real queer people who voice any discomfort with queer fetishizism. 

That being said someone who is straight can have queer pairings and not all straight people will use queer pairings for sexual gratification. You can ship them, just don't do it in a fetishistic manner. Straight people you are not empowering anyone with this behaviour you are just making fandom life insufferable. You are hurting real people and still contributing to the oppression that many queer people undergo in their everyday lives. Queer fetishism is not supporting queer people. 

But I Did Play With Barbie

I'm not sure if its part of the cisgender bias or the binary bias but its one of them; a lot of messages I see online involve someone complaining that many non-bianry people are lying or making them their gender identity because they don't fit the social norms of the gender they were born into. Gender has little to do with social norms at all! Gender is more to do with your mind, often how you view your body and genitals, not your basic social norms.

I am so tired of seeing pointless messages on the internet, looking at you Reddit, of claiming how even though I don't like pink or played with Barbie or wear pretty dresses I am a girl because I have a vagina, and the same with penis people. Messages claiming how even if your not touch or know a lot about cars or don't like mud you are still a boy because you have a penis. No that's not how gender works and this types of messages are nothing but harmful and discrimination. Binarism is where you have prejudice or discriminate someone who is not a binary gender. Binary gender is female or male, so this only applies to cisgengder and transgender binary people, it could also include demigirls and demiboys but I'm not too sure and seeing as I'm not one of them I don't feel comfortable deciding if they are binary or not. They do however benefit from a degree of binary bias but not as much.

Here's the thing to all the bigots out there, I did play with Barbie. My small childhood was filled with Barbie films and Barbie dolls; I even had the full Swan Lake collection when I was seven. I don't hold any dislike to Barbie and yet I still don't feel like a girl. I am not a girl because I conform with social forms; some I do but some I really don't. I am certainly not a girl because I have a vagina! Not starters not even all girls have vaginas so that is very cissexist to say at the very least. Not all girls have vaginas, not all people with vaginas are girls.

Most days I prefer to be flat chested and a penis, I prefer the male autonomy to the female one any day. This doesn't make me a boy though, I found I do favour girl clothing more so then boy clothing but also have a soft spot for boy t-shirts and hoodies. My clothing is a mix of the both, occasionally unisex because there isn't any shops for non-binary people. My autonomy does depend on my mood but I have a preference. Huh I want a penis more and I still played with Barbie; would any binarists like to comment as their whole ignorant ideology of genderqueer people falls about? I'm sorry that sentence was mean, but the point still stands. Gender norms have nothing to with gender itself! They are embedded into western culture because of the binary, cisgender and male bias to keep the status quo. My gender is for no one to decide but me.

How do I describe gender? Gender is a personal sexual identity that people have no matter the person's biological and outward sex. People define masculinity and femininity based on their background and culture. Different cultures have different behavioral, psychological and physical attributes that are associated with one binary gender or other. These are considered social norms. Gender is psychological not biological; it's the cissexist and binarist society that we live in which tells us otherwise. Gender can not be determined by the genitals. Gender can not be determined by the way a person acts. Gender can not be determined by the way we dress. Gender can not be determined by anything.

Enbies will face discrimination more because there are no social or gender norms based around our gender, there world is filtered to cater to "pink for girls blue for boys". Because we do not fit this world we are considered outsiders, we are shunned, mocked and told how we should be feeling about our gender. We are told everything we are thinking is wrong, that we just want attention and that we need the help. Binary is considered the only right gender and we are considered wrong. I hope to one day change that; I want the world to see non-binary people for what we are. People. I don't want to be questioned about gender and have it decided by a binary person who honestly feels that they know better. No one knows my gender better then me, and that goes to everyone out there.

Society tries to erase existence of those who do not fit the "pink for girls, blue for boys" world they have created. Society tries to "fix" us when there was nothing wrong with us in the first place. We have gender norms and stereotypes forced on us before we are even old enough to talk or walk. We are brainwashed and controlled and manipulated what to think about gender from the moment the doctor looks at our genitals to tell us the gender.

I played with Barbie when I was a child, I am not any less pangender.