What Does Pangender Mean To Me?

So my article was declined, sadly. It does happen though, one can not be a good writer and get upset over negative work or declinements. You must pick yourself up and learn from your mistakes. No one really had a suitable section for my article-even though about a music video music should have been a suitable section-and my publisher didn't like the quality of my work. I am disappointed and I won't pretend that I am not, however I will learn from this. I will make sure my work is of better quality next time, although I don't know how zero spelling mistakes, perfect grammar, neat paragraphs and clear subheadings could be of better quality. Of course they could have been referring to someone who is too-white-but-not-white-enough writing about discrimination against Japanese. I admit I did not have first hand experience so my article was let down in that area. Oh well, time must go on.

I wanted to dedicate a special post today to talk about why being pangender means to me. Yesterday on Tumblr while scrolling though the pangender tab I came across a post which accused all pangenders of being "white" and then accused all pangenders of cultural appropriation of genders specific to POC cultures. I did of course respond, explain the correct meaning of pangender, suggested they use Experience Project and forums to connect with other pangenders and linked them to this blog. Of course then it hit me, this blog I started up to give a deeper insight to what is pangender, pangender individuals and to explore the experiences that I faced as a pangender which people of non-binary and genderqueer face also. I haven't really done that in my posts, how can I educate when I do not give means to give people an education. 

People really don't seem to know anything about what is pangender at all; pangender is not an excuse for Angelo-Saxon white people to appropriate cultures of others. People of all races, and ethnicities can be pangender. Pangender means "all genders", pan being the Greek word for all. This does not mean pangenders claim to be Two-Spirit or Hijra. There are two binary genders, male and female. Then there is others like agender, trigender and so on. Pangender is being able to identify with all the genders, that some days you have boy days but you're not fully a boy, some days you have girl days but you're not fully a girl, some days you have genderless days but you're not fully genderless, some days you have days where your not fully sure of your gender but you're not fully that other gender and some days you feel like your all the genders at once. It's very similar to genderfluid, bigender or trigender however they are not the same. If pangender is cultural appropriation then so must these be.

I don't see pangender as stealing from specific cultures, and I am sure anyone who took the time to research and understand pangender wouldn't either. Western society has different names for gender and all sorts of names, pangender is one of them that many people identify with. Pangender is a word only used in English speaking countries and still not a even recognized as an legal gender. In the UK we still live in the cissexist and binarist society where biological sex equals gender; which is only true if you are cisgender. For anyone else this is not true one bit. For many people are trans binary or even non-binary individuals. Being pangender means I have to face a world where people tell me I don't exist or that my gender identity is cultural appropriation of a culture they themselves aren't even part off so how could know? They seem to have no knowledge of any of these other genders, nor my own. People are so quick to make bigotry assumptions with no care to whom they hurt by their assumptions. People take the world "all" and seem to draw assumptions that it applies to every single country and every single culture-which is ridiculous at best, offensive at most.

I am pangender. My name is Morgan Kaged and I live the same way you do. My gender does not make me different. Today I feel like "boy" is more dominate gender force; I want to be flat and have a penis and be seen as a boy. My sister told me that even with a binder, which I really want, that I'll never look fully as a boy should. This hurt me deeply because she was telling me that I did not match my gender, when in reality what is gender? How do our facial appearances match gender? Even though I feel as if I am a boy, I feel as though I am not fully a boy. Girl, genderless, other gender are still present in my gender identity however today I feel more as a boy. Yes it is similar to genderfluid and yes I do experience days where I am mix of two or three different genders however the others are still present just not as strong. I am never fully one gender. That is what it means to me to be pangender.

I can't speak for everyone who is pangender, I can only speak for me and my experiences and my feelings. Everyone is different and that includes how they feel and express their gender. Not one person can speak for everyone, this is inaccurate and wrong. Just because I experience something in a certain way, doesn't mean every single pangender person experiences what I feel. There are stereotypes drawn, even though not all of them are hurtful and offensive, they are still stereotypes and still wrong. Pangenders face enough discrimination without fighting stereotypes.

What pangender means to me is that I am all genders. I am not one gender, and never will be. I am not one gender on certain days but I might feel that gender more then the others. This is why I prefer gender neutral pronouns and titles, because gender titles I feel erase part of my identity. This is form of misgendering but not fully misgendering. You can call me a she because I am a girl but you are ignoring that I am also a boy, something else, something in between, and genderless at the same time. You are erasing my identity and gender therefore you are misgendering me. I chose Mx as my title because I feel it is the best one to represent my mixture of genders that inside me, that I never ignoring my identity because Mx covers them all. I know some people take off offensive with Mix or Mixter but I feel its me. To me its a great title for pangender, bigender, trigender and genderfluid people but again I can not speak for everyone. My chose of title is to express how I see myself and my pangender.

No one can take away my gender, you can pretend I don't exist, you can make prejudice assumptions, you can discriminate, you can be a binarist, you can be a cissexist, but you can not change who I am. I am pangender not because I want to steal from other cultures but because it is a term that perfectly fits and suits me best. Its not special snowflake syndrome to pretend I am oppressed, no one is pretending to be pangender. I am just me. I am just Morgan Kaged.

Regal And Royal

I had to take a break from writing my blog because I was writing an article about the racism and cultural appropriation in Avril Lavigne's new music video 'Hello Kitty' which of course took me away from my blog. No one has published it yet but I am hopeful. When I last was able to visit my blog I was talking about all the family titles I had found for those who did not fit this "pink for girls, blue for boys" world. This should be my last blog post about titles, however I am not too sure.

For an official title where is Mx, which is queer and the one I have used as my title. I have recently found out that Mx is not only short for mix but also for mixter, following the pattern of mister and mistress. I feel it follows more mister then mistress but for me it fits perfectly as a pangender individual. In any English speaking countries M is a very gender neutral title to use which is short for all titles; however in French speaking countries Monsieur so in Canada which is both an English and French speaking country using M could possibly lead to confusion. Another queer title that can be used is Misc which comes from the word miscellaneous. Personally I am not comfortable calling non-binary and genderqueer people miscellaneous, like we are randoms with no real place in the world. Another queer title is Msr which isn't really short for anything but combines both male and female titles, this is perfect for bigender people but to me as a pangender I feel it would erase parts of my gender. Mq is also a queer title which again is not an abbreviation of something. Q probably comes from queer, but I'm not sure and is following the patterns of Mr/Ms/Mrs/Miss. Ind is another title and is very gender neutral; Ind is short for individual and I feel it would be excellent for agender, neutrios, genderless or nongender who feel that other titles imply a gender. 

There was also options for an non-binary and genderqueer alternatives to the binary sir/ma'am. Comrade is a great gender neutral option however given its link to communists using it my not be the best idea. Depending on where you live there is still a lot of anti-communist hatred. Friend could also be used in replace of sir/ma'am and is very gender neutral, however it's very informal so would not always be suitable depending on the situation. Citizen and Tiz also work well in replace of and they are both gender neutral-Tiz is a shortened version of citizen. These could not be used in all settings though, given how odd it sounds in every day English speech. More queer options include Mirdam which is a combination of sir and madam. Mistdam is another queer option which is a combination of mister and madam. Sir'am is another queer option suggested with is a combination of sir and ma'am. Laddam is a queer title created by combing lad and madam together. Mir which is a term I used once on Tumblr to correct someone who referred to me as a ma'am, is a queer title. Mir comes from combining madam with sir. The list also mentions that in the military sir is used gender neutrally but for obvious reasons this could not be used outside the military as it implies male. While it was not mentioned on the list but on 'Dragon Age' ser is used gender neutrally, it reminds me of womyn and boi.

There are also royalty alternatives, some which are queer. Monarch which is used often in Britain is a gender neutral to describe someone who is a King/Queen. Ruler is another alternative which is very gender neutral term used. You can be someone's Ruler instead of their King or Queen. Sovereign is another gender neutral term that is again used often in Britain, being that we do have a Sovereign, our Queen Elizabeth 2nd. Your Majesty is a gender neutral way, and highly respected way, to address the current Monarch. There are also two queer terms one could use if we did get a non-binary and genderqueer Monarch; one was Quing. Quing is combining Queen with King. Another is Caln which is based of the K and Q sound of King and Queen.  

As there were King/Queen alternatives there was also plenty of Prince/Princess alternatives. Prin is one, which comes from Prince and Princess and is queer. I think Prin would be great for agender, neutrios, genderless or nongender and maybe could be made exclusive just for them? Its the most non-gendered term I've seen. Prinxe is another queer term I've seen used based on the Prince and Princess ending. Princet is again queer and based on the Prince and Princess endings. Princette is queer and based on the Prince and Princess endings but seeing as it sounds a lot like dudette its a good one for femme non-binary. Princev is a queer title based on the Prince and Princess endings, more Prince then Princess though. Princen is a queer title and one I have seen commonly used and based on the Prince and Princess endings. Princus is another queer title used, based on Prince and Princess ending patterns. There was one more queer term and that was Princex, a lot like Prinxe but not the same. Princex however is considered a POC term-POC is an American blanket term for People Of Colour. There were all some nice gender neutral terms that could be used as well. Your Highness is a gender neutral way of addressing royality. Heir is also a gender neutral way to address someone who will one day be the Monarch.

Now to be royal its always to the Monarch, you can sometimes be a Lord or Lady. However what happens when you do not fit into this binary system? Sovereign and Ruler were suggested again as gender neutral terms used instead. Liege is another gender neutral term which could be used as an alternative to Lord/Lady as in My Liege which I have seen used often in the media. Suzerain is a gender neutral term and the feudal equivalent to Lord/Lady which could also be used. Pontentate is also a gender neutral term which is also a Latin word to describe someone who is in power. Now if you are like me who prefers queer terms which apply only to non-binary and genderqueer folk there was two choices. Lairde, which is queer and based on the la sound in Lady and the rd sound in Lord. There was also Layde which is again queer and again based on the la sound in Lady and the rd sound in Lord.

As a 'Game Of Thrones' fan I was thrilled to find that someone had added queer terms for non-binary and genderqueers to use rather then Khal and Khaleesi. I was more then thrilled, even in my fandoms I could find a place where I do exist and belong. They were Khalsine and Khalse. I couldn't tell you which I preferred but I will have to keep them in mind for fan fiction and queer headcanon.

This will be a very controversial point and I don't mean to disrespect anyone's deity. Being Wiccan I myself worship thy God and Goddess. However the list mentioned how God is not only a male term but also a gender neutral one, my friend who is a cisgender woman calls herself God all the time. I feel foolish for missing that. There was also a queer word that someone had either found or made up, it was Goddex. Goddex was based on the God and Goddess endings, and I might take to calling Loki that as Loki has many time shape shifted into female animals and become pregnant.

While there was no mention of an alternative to male/female or man/woman there was a queer option for boy/girl. Enby, which comes from the sound NB which is an abbreviation of Non-Binary. Such as you can be an enbyfriend or an fanenby-which I have added to my Tumblr and Twitter bios.

It Is Better To Have Loved

In my last post I spoke openly about finding certain titles I can use within the family. There were more I found by couldn't talk about them because a) the post was overly long for a blog and I felt it needed ending and b) it was coming up to midnight and I wanted to have posted on that day to make up for a five day absence. I then woke up late and responded to a "million and one" posts trying to defend the straight boy of using queer ships and queer fans to win certain polls and awards but then advocating for the death of one of the few canonically queer characters and showing no intention of queer representation even though the show runner has stated that his character is open to "exploring bisexuality" as that's how he always intended him to be, and then hammering on in interviews how straight the character is. My my, straight people do love to hide straight privilege and throw the openly gay writer under the bus and blame him for the interview. Yes I am sure he sat behind him and held a gun to his neck and forced him to say that.

Anyway my Tumblr is already full of it, I don't want to discuss it here also. But yes, that is why there is a day between both posts because I was dealing with Tumblr issues. Aren't I always dealing with oppressive bigots on Tumblr? Now where was I? Given that my last relationship was horrible strained because I didn't feel like a girlfriend and couldn't engage and feel comfortable addressed like even though I really did like and was attracted to the person at the time, I was still unsure of my gender hugely and suffering an identity crises the whole time. A large part of why my relationship fell apart. Being pangender I have never left like a girlfriend or boyfriend, I've never truly felt comfortable being forced into this binary world. To discovery that there was non-binary alternatives for me to use was amazing. I could be in relationships with people and not be forced to misgender myself based on the mistake doctors make.

For example I discovered that a very causal, non serious relationship it is acceptable to asked to be referred to as simply date. Date is a neutral term to call someone you are on a date with; another one is datefriend. A lot like boyfriend and girlfriend only more gender neutral. A rhyming version of datefriend is datemate, more causal and very gender neutral. Doesn't really sound like you are in a relationship with someone though, in my personal opinion. Lover was another suggestion, however this implies a sexual relationship so you really could not introduce someone to your parents as "this is my lover ____". Lover is however very gender neutral and unless you hang out with horrible slut shaming people, lover would be acceptable to use when with close friends. For a queer option boifirend is available. Boi like womyn, is use of binary terms but making them queer to describe gender identity. While boi was a queer term, its no longer exclusively clear and has been used via texts which predate most of in internet, but while once referring to gay men or butch lesbians/non-binary. Boi has become a separate gender identity in some cases, for this reason I don't think I will be using boi. Two other queer names are girlboyfriend or boygirlfriend. I suppose these two would work for someone who was bigender but not really for someone who is pangender, I identify as more then just the two binary genders. Paramour is another gender neutral term I have seen used, however a paramour is a someone you have having sexual relationships with so like lover if using it should be used somewhere carefully. Telling your grandparents this is your paramour is not suggested. Bothfriend was another queer term that can used instead of girlfriend and boyfriend; however this again doesn't really "fit" me. This term would be great for someone bigender or genderfluid even but to me this seems just as much misgendering as girlfriend or boyfriend. Gender queeries also suggested queer term genderfriend, similar to boyfriend and girlfriend. Genderfriend is okay I suppose but I'm not sure I would want to use it for myself. Sweetie and sweetheart were also two cute gender neutral, if not slightly cheesy suggestions mentioned. These would make cute nicknames along side baby and babe but I would not want to be introduced as "this is my sweetheart Morgan". I'm not in 'The Notebook'! [name]friend, where you just fill in the name with Morganfriend, pangenderfriend, etc etc is another queer option open to non binary people based on boyfriend and girlfriend. I am not really a fan of this one personally, but it is a good idea for people to use if they don't feel anything "fits" them. Cuddle buddy is a neutral, very cheesy suggestion that could also be used; however introducing someone like this is bound to result in fits of laughter. Even if the people are the open minded sweetest people, its just the one it sounds. Birlfriend is another queer option, possibly coined because of the implications of a white person using "boi" given that boi was originally coined by black gay men. I don't mind birlfriend but birl sounds like you're about to be sick so I wouldn't want someone to call me a birl. Birl is a combination of boy and girl, so not really suitable for someone who is pangender. Feyfriend is considered a gender neutral term but has queer roots, I actually quite like this one. Feyfriend is cute and doesn't misgender me. Personfriend, like feyfriend, is considered a gender neutral term but has queer roots. This is a lot like genderfriend too me. I don't know, personally I find them dehumanizing and don't see any chance of me using them ever. The last one on the list for non serious relationships; was enbyfriend. Enby comes from non-binary and is pronounced NB. So far enbyfriend is my favourite with feyfriend being a close second. As someone who is pangender I find these two suit me the best.

Now for more serious committed relationships, but not marriage or engagement there was a number of titles and names you could call a non-binary and genderqueer person. Some where repeated such as boifriend, boygirlfriend, girlboyfriend, paramour, bothfriend, genderfriend, sweetie, sweetheart, [name]friend, cuddle buddy, birlfriend, feyfriend, personfriend, and enbyfriend so I won't talk about these again. Others however included partner. Partner is perfectly acceptable and neutral term to call someone, my parents have used this for years also due to the many complications of their relationship. Significant other is another neutral term, which is acceptable to say but has a very formal view to it. More informal is its shortened version on S.O. This might be the fan inside me talking but S.O just makes me think of S.H.I.E.L.D terminology S.O being used as Supervising Officer. Other half is another gender neutral term which could be applied, if you are monogamous which I do think I am. I haven't really thought or considered polygamous relationships. Steady is a suggested term as in "going steady", but I'm not sure you can call someone your steady. Steady what? Another suggestion name was the gender neutral term soul mate. As a big fan of both 'Xena: Warrior Princess' and 'Supernatural' and as a very spiritual person I do believe in soul mates and I do love the term, however I kind of feel it might sound odd introducing someone as your soul mate. I don't want to come across as a "love sick" twelve year old. The last suggestion was another gender neutral term called loveperson. For me personally I feel I might just use both feyfriend and enbyfriend for both my causal and serious relationships.

As for an queer alternative to fiancee and fiance, there isn't one technically. Words are always changing and the world is still trying to erasure queer people so maybe in time we will have a version of fiancee/fiance. There were some terms you could use for when you were engaged however. Partner, significant other, S.O, other half, sweetie, sweetheart, cuddle buddy, steady, soul mate and loveperson were all suggestions to use. There was only one new suggestion that had not been used before, betrothed. To me this sounds too formal and unnatural on the tongue. Maybe until language develops I will just have someone introduce me as someone they're engaged too.

The same story is for wife and husband. There is no queer alternative non-binary people can use. Gender queeries offered Partner, significant other, S.O, other half, sweetie, sweetheart, cuddle buddy, steady, soul mate and loveperson with the exception of spouse instead of betrothed. I have heard spouse used many times and it is a nice gender neutral term, but I still want a queer version for wife and husband. Anyone can be a spouse but I want a non-binary word that describes all non-binary people. Hopefully language will soon evolve and there will be a legal marriage name for someone like me, until there is I have high doubts that I won't get married.

There are again more titles which I want to share but I am saving them for another blog post so this one does not run too long. I believe the next post should be my last one on titles but I could have to make it four; I know titles are not really an "exciting" pangender issue but they are important to me.

A Discovery That I Do Indeed Exist

One of my earliest blog posts was where I broke down the gender binary and noted how everything must full under the binary system. How it was full of "pink for girls, blue for boys" world where anyone like me didn't below. There were not titles for us, and I spoke about children and what my parents could introduce me as and all sorts. Living in a binary world is hard, I often felt I was "wrong" and that I didn't exist and I should be more "normal", even though the fault was not me but the people around me.

However I made a discovery on Tumblr which changed how I was thinking, it gave me hope and filled me with joy and overwhelming excitement. I was on a Tumblr user called Genderqueeries and part of their Tumblr was dedicated towards titles for genderqueer people such as myself. Being pangender I am genderqueer and non-binary and to find titles for queer people like me is amazing. I have found words to describe me which prove, yes. Yes I do exist and I just as part of our functioning society as you are. Titles and names mean so much to us, they are a large part of our identity and how we feel about ourselves. To have a title makes you feel more like an equal human being instead of a subhuman being. 

There was a number of parenting titles which made me come a little closer to the possibility that one day I could have children, providing my ASD (Autism Syndrome Disorder) can cope. I can't really cope in a work environment so it is unlikely that a crying baby will be any better. There is always reborns I suppose. Parent is a gender neutral term which I could use in everyday speech, short for that is par and per which are both lovely gender neutral terms. For something more queer I could use Dommy. Dommy is a cute combination of Daddy and Mommy, however being Welsh and British Mommy is not a term used over here. I suppose I could suitute which the Welsh form Mammy and be Dammy or the more English British term Mummy and be Dummy. There are of course problems with some of these, Dommy is a lot like a Domme of the BDMS group and both are pronounced the same. Dummy well that one speaks for itself and could come across as very ableist while Dammy is slightly better someone unfamiliar with the Welsh speech could misinterpret as damn which is in many schools considered swearing. Another queer option is Zaza which comes from Mama and Dada. I love the sounding of Zaza and so far it is my favourite. I'm wondering if Zaza could be also said like Zaz as in queer for Mum and Dad, Za as in queer for Ma and Pa, and Zazzy as in queer for Mammy and Daddy rather then using Dommy. I will have to double check that these terms are not already in use of course. I am sure I have heard Zaz as a name before too. An alternative for mother or father is a queer term zither. Zither is also an musical instrument but I don't think its a popular one so I shouldn't have no problem using zither. It's very formal so I doubt my child will be calling me this anyway. It is one I will be writing on medical and school forms though, let's just hope there is less gender discrimination by then. Another term I could use is Baba. Baba is a gender neutral term that means both father and mother, in some languages Baba means grandmother while in others it means father. I am not to sure about this one because in some languages it is misgendering myself. I would say my favourite parenting one has to be zither/zaza and I really hope I am able to use this as an pangender parent one day.

As for myself as someone with brothers and sisters I have found some titles which they can use and address me as. Sibling is a gender neutral term that I have heard of before but no one seems to want to use it for me. Sib, which is short for sibling which I think would be great to be referred too. While it seems these great gender neutral versions are lost on my current siblings I found out there is some queer options too! Sibster is a combination of sibling and sister and then there is sibter which is a combination of the term sibling and brother. I personally find sibster to roll off the tongue more but wouldn't mind a combination of sibster, sibter and sib being used when I am introduced or talked about. 

As for when one of my delightful siblings has children, for obvious reasons I can't be an Aunt Morgan or Uncle Morgan because I don't like being misgendered. It upsets me and I feel it takes away my identity as an pangender. Thankfully there were some options open to me there too. Pibling was one of them which is very gender neutral. Pibling is basically short for parent's sibling, and even short then that is a pib. A more queer version is an auncle, which sounds a lot like ankle when you say it out loud. Auncle comes from combining aunt and uncle together.  Titi is another one mentioned on the list, it's gender neutral and comes from tia which is Spanish for aunt and tio which is Spanish for uncle. Given that I am not Spanish or of Spanish heritage I do have some issue claiming Spanish terms as my own. Yes you should always try and speak as much Spanish as you can in Spanish speaking countries but not claim certain words as your own. Zizi is another gender neutral term like titi, but from the Italian zia which is aunt and zio which Italian for uncle. Since I am not Italian I don't feel I should be using Italian terms for myself, it's also been noted that in France zizi is what little children call a penis. I don't want to share the name with a penis. There is another queer term that I could use, untie or alternatively spelt unty. Both are a combination of uncle and auntie or aunty. I'm not sure which term I would like if one my siblings were to have a child-given how they're all very young I shouldn't have to worry about this just yet or for a while.

I don't have a big family, a good deal of my aunts and uncles don't take an interest in me and the ones that do will do so for a few months and they ignore me for a few years. My mother grew up in the system and I'm a bastard child, so she never boned with her family much and my step-father's family resent the bastard child that was here before their son. For the ones that are still in my life there great non binary alternatives that I could get them to call me rather then niece or nephew. One was a nibling, which is a gender neutral term made by combining niece/nephew with sibling. There was also chibling, which personally sounds adorable. Chibling is a gender neutral term which means the children of your sibling. The list also showed sibkid as one, which is short for sibling's kid which is very informal but I'm not from a fancy family. Sibkid sounds exactly what most of them would say. For a more queer term for myself there is also nephiece and niecew. Nephiece is a queer combination of nephew and niece while niecew is a combination of niece and nephew. I like the sound of them both and I think they're both pretty easy to pronoun so I guess we'll see how the very limited members of my family feel about it.

Now as for the repeated misgendering of me, instead of introducing me as their daughter they could say they're child. The problem is this sounds too weird given that I'm now nineteen. Kid is another gender neutral name but not really suitable for some situations. Another one I like is introducing me as their eldest. I am the eldest child so it does fit and focuses more on age rather then gender. A formal suggestion the list made was offspring which sounds weird in everyday speech in my opinion so I don't think I'll be using that. Sprog was a very informal suggestion but I honestly can not see the world coming out of my mother or my step-father's mouth.

If I do have children one day in the not so near future there is a good chance I'll have grandchildren. I won't want them to call me grandma or grandpa and given how many Arab countries aren't fully open to non-cisgender heterosexuals just yet so so far there are no alternatives to seedo or teta that I could use, but I don't speak much Arabic so probably for the best. There was only one queer option, grandwa based on gransma and grandpa. I like it but wa sounds like a fake baby noise cartoons use, or the sound used in the 'Wheels On The Bus' song. Some gender neutral options were included which I do like the sound of. Godparent was the obvious one, but this isn't something you can ask your grandchild to call you. The was one other gender neutral term that I wouldn't mind using, Grandy. Grandy is the short version of grandparent, grandma and grandpa so there is no gender attracted to it. It's not on the list so it probably isn't in use but I was wondering if instead of grandwa I use grandza, grandzaza, or grandzazzy seeing as I am leaning against using zaza if I have children. Alternatively if that was true I could call myself a grandzither as well, even with that no being in use much.

My dear seeto can also call me either his grandchild or grandkid. He still calls me kid even with me being nineteen so I don't think it'll be a problem for him to use these rather then gender versions.

If I was so lucky to have be a godparent, there is so far no queer version. Again I would probably use the term godzither if I was so lucky. Now I don't have godparents myself but for those reading this and don't like being called goddaughter or godson for misgendering reasons, the list didn't have any queer alternatives but godchild and godkid are perfectly gender neutral terms. 

There are more titles, for relationships and some others that I wanted to share, however it is almost midnight and I really wanted to post up a post as its been a while. Also this one as run on a bit and I believe my longest post yet but I am not to sure on that. However again it is such a relief to find non-binary terms for family. 

Sexual Orientation And Its Definitions

Yesterday I wrote a post about the differences of pansexuality, bisexuality, omnisexuality and anthrosexuality. Looking over it now, I see its shorter then normal and wasn't very clear. Its cris-crossed and a little sloppy. This post is more an in dept look at sexuality and what they each mean to me, as a nineteen year old panromantic pansexual on Tumblr. 

To me, it seems, Tumblr is full of young heterosexual people who complain about everyone else' sexuality. How all these labels effect them, and how there is no need for them. Now not all heterosexuals are the same, some of my friends are straight and they have never once tried to remove my identity from me. However that does not change the fact that because of the monosexual and heterosexual bias forced onto us from a young age that anyone who is not monosexual will face discrimination on the internet. 

As a panromantic pansexual, there are too many myths and misconceptions that I must face whenever I log online. Having queer headcanons about characters who's never been confirmed as straight is considered propaganda and people are verbally attacked and called disgusting. In a world where there is no panromantic or pansexual characters in the media; how is it disgusting if I have a tendency to view characters of unconfirmed sexual orientation as either panromantic or pansexual or both? Heterosexual people feel they are entitled to view every character as heterosexual, in the depths of Tumblr there are even people who claim that Jack Harkness from 'Torchwood' is heterosexual, ignoring his sexual and romantic relationship with Ianto Jones completely. If it is okay for straight people to do so then why is it shameful or bad when queer people do so? 

Myths as a panromantic pansexual that effect me the most are

• Pansexual is just another term for bisexual: No, while some do use the term interchangeably most do not. There is several differences with pansexuality and bisexuality, even with the overlap. No one accuses heterosexuality and homosexuality of being the same even though they overlap sometimes so why force that pansexuals are just bisexuals?
• Pansexuals are just bisexuals looking for attention: Not only is this not true but only insulting and hurtful. No one is seeking attention, why would anyone want to have abuse hurled at them and discriminated against for attention? Pansexuals are born that way, simple as.
• Pansexuals are biphobic to bisexuals: Of course you can be biphobic even if you are pansexual but do not sterotype all pansexuals as the same. More so identifying as pansexual does not make you biphobia. No one choices their sexuality, no one especially choices their sexuality out of discrimination. People are born pansexual. 
• Pansexuality isn't real, it's a made up term: No one is pretending to be pansexual, that is ridiculous and harmful to spread around. Yes every word in the English language was made up at some point or another, however that does not equal that there is no such thing as pansexuality. People identity as pansexual because their sexual attraction and desire is regardless of gender. 
• Pansexuals are just half out of the closet: I am not half gay, no one says they are pansexual and really mean I'm gay but not fully out of the closet yet. Dan Savage is a bigot and is causing harmful misconceptions about human beings and I really doubt he cares. While there is nothing wrong with homosexuality I am not attracted to just pangenders or people with vaginas. It would be wrong to call myself homosexual when I am not. I am not half closeted, I am fully open about my sexuality.
• Pansexuals are transphobic: Yes it is possible to be transphobic and pansexual however pansexuality itself is not transphobic. Heterosexuals and homosexuals date transgender people and see them no different to cisgender as do bisexuals. Being pansexual does not neglect someone's gender identity, not in the slightest. Its just the sexual attraction and sexual desire regardless. Regardless does not mean gender is an important factor to live. A pansexual will still have a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a enbyfriend, gender just doesn't play a part in their sexual attraction and sexual desire.
• Pansexual is another term for omnisexual: While the term can be used interchangeably for some pansexuals and omnisexuals, this is not the case for everyone. It's not okay to force on pansexuals or omnisexuals that they are the same thing because pan and omni translate to the same thing. Phobia translates to fear, however are queerphobics scared of queers or are they offensive jerks? Offensive jerks of course! In the English language, sometimes words do not translate correctly.
• Pansexuals are attracted to pans: This is more an annoying joke then harmful but that does not mean its okay. Do not make pan jokes, especially using our flag. Objectphilla and pansexuality are not the same thing, and no pansexuals do not have sexual intercourse with pans.
• Pansexuals are attracted to animals: To be a pansexual is not to be sexually deprived. Pansexuals are not sexually attracted to animals just because our attraction and desire is regardless of gender, we still see human beings. 
• Pansexuals are the same as anthrosexuals: An anthrosexual and pansexual while overlap are not the same. There are many differences and I have never even heard the words used interchangeably with each other. Just because it is a different and new sexuality you have never heard of before in your narrow minded life does not mean it is okay to dub them as the same. Its disrespectful and removes people's identity.

There are many more misconceptions circling the dark place that is known as the internet, however these are the main ones which effect me. I have had accusations thrown at me and been treated like dirt all because I am of a different sexuality. 

• Pansexual is not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity.
• Omnisexual is involving, related to, or characterized by a diverse sexual propensity.
• Bisexual is the sexual attraction to the same gender and other genders.
• Anthrosexual is the sexual attraction to all humans regardless of gender.

I don't think I explained correctly before, I have ASD and even in words sometimes I fail to communicate what I want to say. Sexuality is more fluid these days and what was meant in the 19th century no longer applies today. You may look at these terms and feel that they are the same, even when they are not. However no matter what your feelings are it is not polite of you to complain about how someone chooses to identify nor is it anyone's place to dismiss someone's sexual orientation. We are all different and experience sexuality in a different way. To deny any one of these terms is to deny that someone doesn't exist or is "wrong" which is damaging and harmful in itself. We need to move past all this hate and learn to respect others no matter whom their sexual desire is for.

Pansexuality, Bisexuality, Omnisexuality, And Anthrosexual

While on this blog I tend to focus more on the pangender side to me, it seems every time I go on the internet-especially Tumblr-it seems someone out there is confusing panseuxality with an other sexual orientation or spewing discrimination and determining certain sexualities even though they are not that sexuality. Being a panromantic pansexual I often find myself at the bit of this false myths and confusing and having to tell people how pansexual is not the same as bisexual. Scrolling though Tumblr I also saw that omnisexual and anthrosexual were considered another term for pansexual or bisexual too.

Personally I think its rude and insulting to speak on behalf of someone else's sexuality. Yes there are some people who use certain terms interchangeably but that does not equal the same as everyone nor does it equal the same for everyone nor does it mean the terms are the same. Human sexuality is fluid and often some people don't feel that they are just one term.  Someone's sexual orientation is part of their identity, its a personal thing that should not be taken away or dismissed just because someone doesn't like it. That's discrimination and very prejudice. You have no right what so ever to determine someone else' sexuality or how it works. 

Bisexuality, pansexuality, omnisexuality, and anthrosexuality are all different and beautiful sexual orientations but because they are polysexual, many monosexual people will fire their canons at them and rip them apart. They fall victim to attack, to be thrown around not just by heterosexuals and homosexuals but by other polysexuals as well. I am always finding biphobic pansexuals and panphobic bisexuals on the internet. Everyone is attacking each other when really its all very simple. 

Let's start with pansexuality. As a pansexual who does not use the terms bisexual or omnisexual interchangeably, my first demand is that people stop calling me confused or tell me how they are the same thing. When they are not. Pansexuality is the sexual attraction or sexual desire towards people regardless of gender or sex. That is way some pansexuals, myself included, use the term gender-blind. While a person's gender identity should never be ignored, the simple fact is that a pansexual will not differ from genders. Pansexuals don't act differently in a relationship with their partner. They are the same in a relationship with a feminine or masculine person. A good sense, pansexuality is sexual attraction to the personality, just as sapiosexual is sexual attraction to the intelligence and demisexual is sexual attraction to the emotional connection. 

Bisexuality is the sexual attraction towards the same sex or opposite sex. I use the term sex not gender because bisexual people do often date outside the gender binary. Sex and gender are hardly ever the same thing. Even heterosexual or homosexual people date outside their gender or even normal preferred sex. A cisgender straight man can date a transgender straight woman who has not undergo a sex charge and still be straight even though that woman has a penis she is still a woman. In reality bisexuality refers to more then just a sexual attraction towards the same sex or opposite sex but towards the same gender or other genders. This does include non-binary people.

Omnisexual is the sexual attraction to all sexes and genders. This is different from pansexual, even though omni and pan both mean all. Omnisexual is all and many omnisexuals I have spoken do differ in relationships. All sexes include penis, vagina, intersex or someone who has had genitalia nullification surgery done. An omnisexual has sexual attraction to those on the gender binary and those who are simply non-binary. While some use the terms interchangeably, this does not equal omnisexuality and pansexuality as the same.

Anthrosexual is the sexual attraction to all three sexes. This does again does not mean that an anthrosexual person does not date someone who has nullification surgery, lots of people date outside their gender or sex. Sexuality is more fluid. For description purposes only an anthrosexual is sexually attraction to intersex genitalia, male genitalia and female genitalia.   

I personally don't understand how people can be so narrow minded to argue or dismiss someone's sexual orientation. Even re-reading over my own post I can not for the life of me figure out how people can confuse pansexuality, bisexuality, omnisexuality and anthrosexuality. People who identify as pan, bi, omni and anthro face all sorts of bullying and harassing comments. Often accused of discriminating for not labeling as something else and have people like Dan Savage telling them their just half out of the closet. There is a monosexual bias in our everyday society.

I am not bisexual, I am not omnisexual, and I am not anthrosexual. I am pansexual, its really that simple. Nobody should try and dictate someone's sexual orientation. Some people are attracted to more then one gender or sex, it's really that simple. Sexuality is fluid and no term means what it did when it was created in the 19th century. It's narrow mindness and discrimination that tell us otherwise as well as heterosexual and homosexual are the only way to go. 

I support all the sexual orientations, I support people's right to have sexual attraction to whoever, I support people's right to freedom. Do not decide how someone's sexuality can be. Do not discriminate against someone's sexuality to benefit your own. This is child's play and I can not believe fully grown adults have a hard time gasping this concept, someone else' sex life should be no concern of yours.

Trouble At The Bathrooms

Yesterday I was in town with my friends, and yes she did witness me signing my deed. I am officially Mx Morgan Taylor Kaged and no one can take that away from me. I never have to resort to my dreaded birth name ever again; minus my national insurance number. I did forgot to pop into the bank and change my details with them, so I will have to do that soon. However in whole I had a great time out. One problem always occurs when I am out however; which bathroom do I use?

There is no pangender bathroom. There is just "boy" and "girl", which is wonderful if you are cisgender, transgender, or demiboy/demigirl however what about someone like me? What about if your pangender? I was out a good three, four hours in the town center and not sure about using the toilets. It shouldn't have to be a case of "but which one is for me?", there should options for people to use the toilet. Its 2014 and that some people are unsure of where they should pee is horrifying. Yes the disabled toilet is open to all genders, but I am not physically disabled. Mentally disabled and visionary impaired yes but not physically. I feel the same way about using the disabled toilets as I do about using disabled parking spaces, its not okay for someone able-bodied to do so. There is only one disabled toilet, why should I use it when they're are plenty of able-bodied toilets? The answer is I shouldn't. But that doesn't answer the question of where do I use the bathroom?

Its not just bathrooms either, its changing rooms too. Which one as someone not on the binary I am supposed to use? I am lucky that I am not a fan of the gym or swimming but some people are. Some swimmers happen to fall outside the gender binary, where do they get changed into their swimming suits? They are forced to pick one and misgender themselves, which to some is a big deal while others are willing to go with the flow. I however get terrible anxiety whenever I am forced to misgeder myself, over come with dread about being found out as not that gender and fear that I am going to get beat up for not being that gender. This is something that many non-binary people have to face.

I have been a long time supporter of gender neutral bathrooms and changing rooms. When I was ten years old my family went to a trip to Eurodisney land or Disneyland Paris, this was before I fully understood my gender. I was a "girl" but I never felt fully like a girl, even on days where I dressed myself head to toe in pink and stood for three hours to see Princess Aurora and Prince Philip. We stayed at the Davy Crockett Ranch because its easier and more practical to escape to your own log cabin when you have a child under three and two children on the Autism Spectrum. On the ranch was a swimming pool that we liked to visit as a family, where the changing rooms where gender neutral. You just walked in and went into these like compartments with wooden doors and you just changed in there. No one was forced to be misgendered, parents didn't have to worry about children going into a changing room unattended, it was amazing. I don't know if this was just the ranch or if all Paris changing rooms are like this, either way I think its something that needs to be brought over here. 

I want gender neutral toilets and changing rooms. If comments about urinals, couldn't urinals be put in stalls too? I know my brother hates the idea of strangers seeing his penis and I can image that he's not the only one. Some gents and people who are non-binary are going to feel self conscious at the urinals. Gender neutral places are not only safe places but everyone feels comfortable. There is more then just cisgender, transgender and demi. Some people fall outside the binary and because of binary bias we don't see that presented. 

In town yesterday, there was another example of the binary bias erasing everyone who was not on the binary. We went into the card shop so she could buy her sister a birthday and sure enough everything was split into the "pink for girls, blue for boys" world with girl titles and boy titles and nothing was gender neutral are designed for those not on the binary. It was all mother, father, sister, brother, niece, nephew, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle and that was all. It was honestly soul crushing and yet another reminder that my existence would be erased because I am pangender and do not fall on the binary. I am "wrong" even though being another gender is perfectly okay, it is yet to be a social norm.

I am pangender, sometimes I need to pee. I should be allowed to enter somewhere and not be afraid or unsure about bathroom choices. I'm not some mythological fairy tale creature, I am an actual human being. I live just like you do, I'm obsessed with pizza just like you-mine probably has less dairy and meat products but its still pizza. The only difference with me to most people is my gender. I am pangender, I feel I identify with all the genders. Just has bigender is male and female, trigender is a third gender, pangender is all the genders. I don't see it as a hard concept to gasp but some people, practically those on the binary bias do seem to have a hard time gasping what pangender is. A lot of people have made all sorts of accusations, including how its "transphobic" which is laughable really. There is nothing wrong with being pangender or any other gender that is not strictly binary. Until people stop their prejudice against non-binary genders, I fear I'll never feel safe using a bathroom that's not in the comfort of my own home. Never to use a public changing rooms out of fear. And people tell me that there's no such thing as a binary bias.

Half Way To Being Mx Morgan Taylor Kaged

Names and titles are a big part of how we identify ourselves and how we express ourselves in our own unique way. They are our identity and play a huge part in our lives, even if we do not realize this. As I said when I first started this blog I was looking into a legal name change for myself. Yesterday when the post came, included was my deed of change name and title. I was thrilled and over the moon to be able to hold the deed in my hand. All I have to do is have a witness watch me sign the form. The witness must be of eighteen years of age, know me but must not be related to me and not sure an address with me; the last one seemed a little odd to me but I guess laws or laws. Thankfully a friend has agreed to meet up with me tomorrow, who hits all of the requirements to be a witness. Even if witness sounds like I'm going to murder someone-actually that might be due to all the TV shows I watch.

It cost £37.00 in total to change both my name and my title, but I personally feel it was money well spent. I changed my title to Mx instead of using Miss because Mx is gender neutral. As a pangender I do feel I am all genders, sometimes I do chose to present myself as a female but not all the time, sometimes this is so inaccurate. Mx leaves more room for fluidness and makes more sense to me being pangender. Yes some pangenders do choose to keep their female or male titles but this simply wasn't an option for me. Being referred to as Miss did not feel "right" so to speak on a personal level. Regardless of how I am feeling or how I chose to present myself Mx will always apply to me. I was so happy to find out that there was a title for non-binary people like me, it was just another small sign that my existence is erased from everywhere and I don't have to feel "wrong". Mx to me fits me more, its a title I am comfortable giving. Also using Mx I got feel like I am misgendering myself to conform to the binary bias which is a plus to me.

The only time misgendering myself will be when I have to get my passport changed. I have a few name so I know I'll have to eventually, however UK passports only allow for F or M. This is a reminder that to a lot of people I don't exist because I don't fall along the binary. In Australian and New Zealand you can opt for an X which yes "outs" you so dreams to visit Yemen where my ancestors come from its a possibility in the near future due to their laws not being so readily accepted. That and the USA has target practice in their weddings and murdering thousands of innocent Yemeni children because they want to show the world how their the land of the free and home of the brave. But I won't get into my issues with the USA and how a first world country is destroying the resources of third world countries even though the man they were after is dead-murdered in front of innocent children as he drank a cup of tea in his living room after ten years of cold blooded slaughter of Arabs citizens by the USA....no I won't get into it at all.

Anyway, back to point, I do feel that the UK should have an alternative and add X to our passports. Or remove gender all together, there was talk of this two years ago so non-binary and trans people weren't forced to out themselves but I don't think it ever went though. Gender neutral passports seem like I much better idea then X as opposed to F and M, but then I still feel that all non-binary people should be given our alternative to it. Doubtful that we will when we do not even have an alternative to male or female; I must stay pangender.

I also have to speak with my bank, sometime after Friday, and get both my address and name changed with them. Legally once I sign the deed I can not use my birth name for anything which means everything must change. I am excited though, since opening myself up as Morgan I have felt much more confident in myself. I resented my birth name, to me it was horrible. It gave me some self esteem issues and for the great deal of my life I was bullied over my name. I went by various nicknames but they never felt right and were a reminder of my name. Morgan fits me, I am happy. I didn't chose it because its gender neutral, I chose it because I liked the name. I've liked it since I was young; originally I planned on naming my first son Morgan after I got over wanting to name my children after fandom characters-two millionth reason people on Tumblr should not be allowed children-but I've taken it for myself now. I don't know what I'll use for my first son but who knows what a pangender parent is suppose to be called anyway. Or how parents and teachers will see him. Given that there is just as much chance I'll fall in love with a girl or fellow non-binary person as of me falling in love with a boyfriend being that I am pansexual, I am have always been worried that queerphobic people won't see past the negative stereotypes. I have always been scared that I will be seen as nothing but a dangerous sexual predator instead of a loving parent just because I am queer. I guess dreams of starting a family myself with a loving partner are also doubtful.

This is shorter then I would have liked, given my absence however I don't have much else to say. Its gone eleven and I really want to make sure that I have posted a blog post for today, even though most of readers won't read this till tomorrow. I was just so determined to blog today rather then want a little longer, its important to me that this blog stays active so other non-binary people know they are not alone.

But I Don't Exist; I'm Doing It To Be Different

What is pangender? Pangender people are people who do not wish to be labelled as girl or boy because they feel they do not fit into the gender binary because they feel they are all genders. 

Finding out that there was a gender term for me was amazing and uplifting. I felt less of a "freak" and more happy and confident about myself. I knew that there was nothing wrong with me and that I just being the person that I was born to be. That I was just a human being and that I wasn't alone. I of course very excitedly scrolled though the pangender tag on Tumblr, and went into forums and chat rooms to talk about my gender and experiences and feel close to other pangender people. Spell check still does not recognize pangender as a correct word, but that didn't matter. I knew it was correct and I had surrounded myself online with people like me. Facebook saw me as a real gender too; in a previous post I explained how excited I was too know that at least one website saw me for who I am. A real human being. I felt so happy. Its actually a pretty sad reality where you feel more comfortable speaking to strangers online and writing blog posts about your identity and yet you feel so different and alone at home.

However I did mention it to my sister Emily. I love her to bit, she was the first person in my family that I told about being pansexual. I opened up to her about being pangender and answered all her questions. Its a little awkward answering questions based on your gender but I don't think I'll ever be one of those "not my job to educate you" type of people. Its a matter of how you want to address those questions, while I find it awkward, I don't personally mind it too much as long as the person is respectable. However she came to me and not only is refusing to use the name I feel more comfortable with told me that she looked up pangender on the internet and told me I was lying. She told me that she didn't believe I was pangender and that she was going to purposely misgender me from now on. I don't actively go around hating and discriminating against cisgender people, there is nothing wrong with how you are born. However I do take strong issue with a cisgender person, even my own sister, telling me that they know more about my gender then I do. Telling me I'm just confused, and I'm doing it for attention. Why would I want to live in a world where I'm every day being misgendered? Not sure which bathroom I should use, scared of how people see me, daily discriminated against and uncomfortable in own home? What's worse is she's basing this on an online forum of people who don't believe pangender exists in the first place.

Pangender isn't a choice nor is it something I decided to do for attention. Its honestly hurts me and makes me feel even more of a stranger in my own home for attention. She's my sister and I'll always love her but I don't know how I'll be able to address her after this. How can I speak to someone who is bent on misgendering me because she doesn't believe me?

What's worse is I almost came out to my mother. Being able to be open in my family is a step closer to be more comfortable and use pronouns that I really want. Titles that I want and being able to be fully open and free instead of a prisoner. However when I casually made a comment about not being a girl the look of sheer horror and disgust was enough to make me change my mind. I quickly turned it into a thing about my age. I just feel so lost and alone now, I want to buy a binder. Some days I know I won't be using it but there are other days where I do wish I was more flat chested, more "boy like". I'm too scared of the reactions caused. I'm scared for being me. 

I want to dress how I feel most comfortable, I want to give the appearance I feel most comfortable as, I want use the title I feel most comfortable as.

This isn't some lifestyle chose or some attention seeking, and no I'm not dealing with a childhood trauma. I am pangender because yes, I feel like I am all genders. I don't understand why people find this concept so hard to understand. There are more genders then the gender binary, just because someone is non-binary does not mean they are faking a gender just for the sake of it. No one wants to be discriminated against! Its not a choice. I don't know how often I can repeat myself but the message never seems to sink it.

I feel like a mistake even though I'm not the one who has done anything wrong. I'm sick of being told no one cares when I correct them on their name, how will they react to when I finally pluck up the courage to ask them for certain pronouns? I suppose its all due to the binary bias and cisgender bias world that we live in, one that forces "pink for girls, blue for boys". Why you are non-binary you don't fit in anywhere, there's no space for you in a professional setting, there's no toilets, there's no roles, the world is set up to make you feel like you don't exist. But that's not true. I do exist and it hurts when people don't accept or see that.

I know many pangender and other non-binary people feel this way, society treats us like dirt and then everything is turned around on us. We are blamed for not be happy, for the binary bias, for being told in every possibly way that we don't exist. This is why I want to create such beautiful gender diverse books. I want to give representation to people of all genders because no one deserves to be shut out of the media based on their gender. Its a disturbing fact that their are more representations of rapist-some of this positive representations-then their are non-binary people. But it's our fault that there is a binary bias. How dare we be outside the gender binary!

Yes I am having a bad day. Yes I feel like crying. Yes I am hurting. This is me, Morgan Kaged, saying yes I do exist. No this is not a choice but who I am.

What Is Binary Bias?

I started this blog to talk about my self journey into embracing my pangender and pansexual self in all my beauty and glory. However this is a topic that will becoming up a lot so I wanted to spend some time talking about it. As a pangender one of my biggest struggles is facing the world that is "pink for girls, blue for boys." In other words a binary bias world. Calling out binary bias is by no means went to guilt cisgender or transgender people, nor is it meant to erase the struggles that a transgender person goes though in their everyday life. 

If you mix pink and blue together you get lilac but I see no "lilac is for pangenders". A cisgender or transgender person can be called a person, human, boy or girl. Boy or girl; there is no less scientific term for a pangender person. We must be pangender. Some people deny our gender exists because it does not conform with their binary and gender ideals that they have in place, no matter how wrong those ideas are. Its no one's fault that binary bias exists in our everyday speech but it can be a person's fault when they refuse to ignore or see a problem with binary bias. 

Gender bias is that every single title is split into "boy" or "girl". Gender bias is not having a suitable toilet to use. Gender bias is that some transgender people will accuse your gender as discrimination against them. Gender bias is not having to pick if you are the daughter or the son because no one wants to introduce their child. Gender bias is not worried you shouldn't have children because should they call you "Mam" or "Dad"? Gender bias is not being told repeatedly your gender doesn't exist. Gender bias is not having to always correct people about your gender. Gender bias is not having to always correct people on your preferred pronouns. Gender bias is not clicking on a website but their signup only includes "boy" and "girl". Gender bias is not being told to pick a gender even though as far as your concerned you have. Gender bias is not being mocked online. Gender bias is not having cisgender and transgender people think they know more about your gender then you do. Gender bias is not being told to get over it when people repeatedly misgender you on purpose. Gender bias is not having people feel they are entitled to cookies and praise whenever they use your correct pronouns. Gender bias is not having your friend ask if gender neutral pronouns are exotic names and then throwing a bad trantrum over the internet because you pointed out they're mistake. Gender bias is not having to worry if people will give you a gender based on your name. Gender bias is not being told you can't be a certain sexuality because of your gender. Gender bias is not dreading your birthday because every single card says "birthday girl" or "birthday boy" on it. Gender bias is people telling you to watch a show and shut up when you make non-binary headcanons and AUs or ask the producers if they could consider an non-binary character in future seasons.

The list is endless of everything that happens. I could go on and on and on. The point is that the word favours those on the gender binary. Some cisgender and transgender people do try and push away non-binary people, try to isolate us and make us non-existent. Almost every language in the word is gender geared. Take the English language for example, "King or Queen". England will always have a king or queen "ruling" the country but what if the next heir to the throne is not cisgender or transgender. What if a pangender person were too be next in line? What do we call them? Would they be forced to misgender themselves and be called a king or queen or could we create an gender neutral term? When we worship why do we worship only "God" or "Goddess".

Almost everything in our daily lives fulls under the binary. I am a Disney fan, I will admit it. I am not ashamed for liking Disney. One of my greatest passions is the Disney Princesses, the beautiful Princess lineup. With the two added new additions because Queen Elsa and Princess Anna from Disney's 'Frozen' which on a personal level I did love and enjoy greatly. However it brings me to one question. I can't be the princess because I'm not a girl, I can't be the prince because I'm not a boy, I can't be the heroine because I'm not a girl, I can't be the hero because I'm not a boy. I just wish there was more gender neutral options for non-binary people like me who feel so lost whenever they walk into a shop or watch a film. What am I?

Because of the binary bias cisgender and transgender people do not have to worry about this. Cisgender more so then transgender who do face prejudice of having the wrong gender forced on them based on biological sex. I just want to stop feeling abnormal because everything has to fall under the gender binary, if you are non-binary there is something wrong with you.

The binary bias is a needed topic when discussing pangender and other non-binary genders. A lot of the discrimination people will face is due to the binary bias. There is nothing wrong with being gender binary, I have a lot of friends who are, but there is also nothing wrong with being non-binary. The second part is often forgotten by most. I hope I can change that. I want to write my books and fill them with pangender, bigender, trigender, nongendered, genderless, neutrois, agender, genderfluid, third gender, and othergender characters. I want my books to become films and to see such beautiful non-binary characters brought to life would be amazing.

Binary bias means that sadly there are no pangender characters in the media just like there are no pansexual or panromantic characters in the media. The latter two being due to the monosexual bias. I feel like I am erased and that I am not interesting enough to be put on television or in novels. That is binary bias, and yes it is hurtful and harmful. Change will not happen by being cisphobic or transphobic, that is highly counterproductive. Change will happen when we open our minds, create our own non-binary characters, and educate others politely. 

Why Facebook's Gender System Is Revolutionary

Yesterday I made a post complaining about lack of term for fans who do not fit the binary system. Maybe it was an immature post but I do honestly feel the point stands. There isn't a lot of terms or gender options available for pangender and other non-binary genders for people to use. There is a binary bias, and a very high cisgender bias on many sites.

When Facebook announced that they would be adding different gender identities other then "male" and "female" (even though biologically speaking these are not gender identities but biological sexes) I was over the moon thrilled. I was more so excited then why I found out I wasn't a freak and there was a term to describe me! Facebook as a company have really changed things for the better and them adding extra options and allowing people to chose their preferred pronoun is revolutionary for many people. Its hard going onto a website and allowing being given the options of "boy" or "girl". 

I used to role play a lot, still do actually but now its usually with my closest friends. It displays a big issue there too. Its a world of boy and girl and most often these are cisgender roles. Its not any moderators fault but in the media we are often given nothing but cisgender people with the occasional transgender people. Anyone who does not fit into the binary system is ignored. 'Dragon Age' happens to be one of my favourite games to play on the XBox 360 but its very first customization option is to chose if you are a man or a woman. You can only be cisgender and erases every other gender identity. I won't boycott 'Dragon Age' its an amazing fantasy role playing game with a great story line, not to mention the elves share the same oppressive experience as to the Welsh people. However that does not gate the point that its gender options are so limited.

I am often forced to portray a girl or a boy on many websites, and on others I have to misgender myself just to complete the signup. It's annoying and fustrating and brings back so many negative feelings of being a "freak" and unnatural and how much easier everything would be if I were to fit the binary system. Expect I don't, I am pangender. I shouldn't be the one changing who I am just to fit people's narrow mindedness. This isn't how equality works. Is it so hard for sites to add other gender options? There's no law against!

Which is why Facebook started a revolution and went all out when it came to making their users feel welcome and comfortable. Facebook have now made it possible for people to state their gender identity and chose their pronouns. As far as I am aware Facebook is the first website to have done this, it also has millions of viewers. The point of real gender equality is reaching millions of Facebook users who before may not have considered bigender or pangender people. I hope more companies and websites realize this and are encouraged to include other genders. I don't think its something people realize to do but it would mean the world to people like me. 'Sims' games especially which relies so much on gender would benefit so much from including other genders. 

As a pangender user I shouldn't have to feel like I must misgender myself because a majority of websites have such a binary and cisgender bias. Please not this does not equal cisgender privilege, so said in previous topics I don't believe in this term. Bias does not equal privilege.

But this just in; pangender people exist! People who fall outside the binary system do exist and live and function just like everyone else. We are not made up characters who exist only in fairy tales. We are real and human and breathe and live and die just like cisgender and transgender people. Its so heartwarming and wonderful to see that Facebook gets that. When I completed my Google signup I was left to click "other", other is not a gender option. I want Facebook to be the gear force which has websites and games including non-binary genders. I want other websites to take notice. This is what we want, this is equality.

And as an open message to everyone who says that "it doesn't matter" and that people are overreacting, it is not an overreaction to be recognized as a human being just like everyone else. It does matter when people are not being treated equally. This isn't a simple matter like running out of maple syrup this is gender discrimination, even if that was not what the companies planned that is how it happened. Its not okay and I refuse to accept the fact that I am overreacting about this. I just want to be treated equal; I don't understand why that is such a hard concept for people to understand. 

I am not wrong for being pangender. I am no different to cisgender people. Therefore I am equal and should be treated as such. Sadly it seems that this logic is lost on so many people when in reality it is something that my six year old brother can understand. If a child can do so then why do adults who owe companies chose to ignore non-binary users? Why do websites continue to neglect the fact that not everyone falls under the binary system? 

If the UK prides itself on being an equal rights country where everyone has the same opportunities then something needs to change for this to be true. Hello I am pangender, why am I being discriminated against because my gender is different to yours? I feel like screaming this from the rooftops.

Facebook thank you, you have made one website comfortable for me to use. Other websites please take note! I am not an other, I am not a woman, I am not a man. Some users fall outside the gender binary, we shouldn't be punished or discriminated against for that. Equality starts here.