One of my earliest blog posts was where I broke down the gender binary and noted how everything must full under the binary system. How it was full of "pink for girls, blue for boys" world where anyone like me didn't below. There were not titles for us, and I spoke about children and what my parents could introduce me as and all sorts. Living in a binary world is hard, I often felt I was "wrong" and that I didn't exist and I should be more "normal", even though the fault was not me but the people around me.
However I made a discovery on Tumblr which changed how I was thinking, it gave me hope and filled me with joy and overwhelming excitement. I was on a Tumblr user called Genderqueeries and part of their Tumblr was dedicated towards titles for genderqueer people such as myself. Being pangender I am genderqueer and non-binary and to find titles for queer people like me is amazing. I have found words to describe me which prove, yes. Yes I do exist and I just as part of our functioning society as you are. Titles and names mean so much to us, they are a large part of our identity and how we feel about ourselves. To have a title makes you feel more like an equal human being instead of a subhuman being.
There was a number of parenting titles which made me come a little closer to the possibility that one day I could have children, providing my ASD (Autism Syndrome Disorder) can cope. I can't really cope in a work environment so it is unlikely that a crying baby will be any better. There is always reborns I suppose. Parent is a gender neutral term which I could use in everyday speech, short for that is par and per which are both lovely gender neutral terms. For something more queer I could use Dommy. Dommy is a cute combination of Daddy and Mommy, however being Welsh and British Mommy is not a term used over here. I suppose I could suitute which the Welsh form Mammy and be Dammy or the more English British term Mummy and be Dummy. There are of course problems with some of these, Dommy is a lot like a Domme of the BDMS group and both are pronounced the same. Dummy well that one speaks for itself and could come across as very ableist while Dammy is slightly better someone unfamiliar with the Welsh speech could misinterpret as damn which is in many schools considered swearing. Another queer option is Zaza which comes from Mama and Dada. I love the sounding of Zaza and so far it is my favourite. I'm wondering if Zaza could be also said like Zaz as in queer for Mum and Dad, Za as in queer for Ma and Pa, and Zazzy as in queer for Mammy and Daddy rather then using Dommy. I will have to double check that these terms are not already in use of course. I am sure I have heard Zaz as a name before too. An alternative for mother or father is a queer term zither. Zither is also an musical instrument but I don't think its a popular one so I shouldn't have no problem using zither. It's very formal so I doubt my child will be calling me this anyway. It is one I will be writing on medical and school forms though, let's just hope there is less gender discrimination by then. Another term I could use is Baba. Baba is a gender neutral term that means both father and mother, in some languages Baba means grandmother while in others it means father. I am not to sure about this one because in some languages it is misgendering myself. I would say my favourite parenting one has to be zither/zaza and I really hope I am able to use this as an pangender parent one day.
As for myself as someone with brothers and sisters I have found some titles which they can use and address me as. Sibling is a gender neutral term that I have heard of before but no one seems to want to use it for me. Sib, which is short for sibling which I think would be great to be referred too. While it seems these great gender neutral versions are lost on my current siblings I found out there is some queer options too! Sibster is a combination of sibling and sister and then there is sibter which is a combination of the term sibling and brother. I personally find sibster to roll off the tongue more but wouldn't mind a combination of sibster, sibter and sib being used when I am introduced or talked about.
As for when one of my delightful siblings has children, for obvious reasons I can't be an Aunt Morgan or Uncle Morgan because I don't like being misgendered. It upsets me and I feel it takes away my identity as an pangender. Thankfully there were some options open to me there too. Pibling was one of them which is very gender neutral. Pibling is basically short for parent's sibling, and even short then that is a pib. A more queer version is an auncle, which sounds a lot like ankle when you say it out loud. Auncle comes from combining aunt and uncle together. Titi is another one mentioned on the list, it's gender neutral and comes from tia which is Spanish for aunt and tio which is Spanish for uncle. Given that I am not Spanish or of Spanish heritage I do have some issue claiming Spanish terms as my own. Yes you should always try and speak as much Spanish as you can in Spanish speaking countries but not claim certain words as your own. Zizi is another gender neutral term like titi, but from the Italian zia which is aunt and zio which Italian for uncle. Since I am not Italian I don't feel I should be using Italian terms for myself, it's also been noted that in France zizi is what little children call a penis. I don't want to share the name with a penis. There is another queer term that I could use, untie or alternatively spelt unty. Both are a combination of uncle and auntie or aunty. I'm not sure which term I would like if one my siblings were to have a child-given how they're all very young I shouldn't have to worry about this just yet or for a while.
I don't have a big family, a good deal of my aunts and uncles don't take an interest in me and the ones that do will do so for a few months and they ignore me for a few years. My mother grew up in the system and I'm a bastard child, so she never boned with her family much and my step-father's family resent the bastard child that was here before their son. For the ones that are still in my life there great non binary alternatives that I could get them to call me rather then niece or nephew. One was a nibling, which is a gender neutral term made by combining niece/nephew with sibling. There was also chibling, which personally sounds adorable. Chibling is a gender neutral term which means the children of your sibling. The list also showed sibkid as one, which is short for sibling's kid which is very informal but I'm not from a fancy family. Sibkid sounds exactly what most of them would say. For a more queer term for myself there is also nephiece and niecew. Nephiece is a queer combination of nephew and niece while niecew is a combination of niece and nephew. I like the sound of them both and I think they're both pretty easy to pronoun so I guess we'll see how the very limited members of my family feel about it.
Now as for the repeated misgendering of me, instead of introducing me as their daughter they could say they're child. The problem is this sounds too weird given that I'm now nineteen. Kid is another gender neutral name but not really suitable for some situations. Another one I like is introducing me as their eldest. I am the eldest child so it does fit and focuses more on age rather then gender. A formal suggestion the list made was offspring which sounds weird in everyday speech in my opinion so I don't think I'll be using that. Sprog was a very informal suggestion but I honestly can not see the world coming out of my mother or my step-father's mouth.
If I do have children one day in the not so near future there is a good chance I'll have grandchildren. I won't want them to call me grandma or grandpa and given how many Arab countries aren't fully open to non-cisgender heterosexuals just yet so so far there are no alternatives to seedo or teta that I could use, but I don't speak much Arabic so probably for the best. There was only one queer option, grandwa based on gransma and grandpa. I like it but wa sounds like a fake baby noise cartoons use, or the sound used in the 'Wheels On The Bus' song. Some gender neutral options were included which I do like the sound of. Godparent was the obvious one, but this isn't something you can ask your grandchild to call you. The was one other gender neutral term that I wouldn't mind using, Grandy. Grandy is the short version of grandparent, grandma and grandpa so there is no gender attracted to it. It's not on the list so it probably isn't in use but I was wondering if instead of grandwa I use grandza, grandzaza, or grandzazzy seeing as I am leaning against using zaza if I have children. Alternatively if that was true I could call myself a grandzither as well, even with that no being in use much.
My dear seeto can also call me either his grandchild or grandkid. He still calls me kid even with me being nineteen so I don't think it'll be a problem for him to use these rather then gender versions.
If I was so lucky to have be a godparent, there is so far no queer version. Again I would probably use the term godzither if I was so lucky. Now I don't have godparents myself but for those reading this and don't like being called goddaughter or godson for misgendering reasons, the list didn't have any queer alternatives but godchild and godkid are perfectly gender neutral terms.
There are more titles, for relationships and some others that I wanted to share, however it is almost midnight and I really wanted to post up a post as its been a while. Also this one as run on a bit and I believe my longest post yet but I am not to sure on that. However again it is such a relief to find non-binary terms for family.
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