Yesterday I was in town with my friends, and yes she did witness me signing my deed. I am officially Mx Morgan Taylor Kaged and no one can take that away from me. I never have to resort to my dreaded birth name ever again; minus my national insurance number. I did forgot to pop into the bank and change my details with them, so I will have to do that soon. However in whole I had a great time out. One problem always occurs when I am out however; which bathroom do I use?
There is no pangender bathroom. There is just "boy" and "girl", which is wonderful if you are cisgender, transgender, or demiboy/demigirl however what about someone like me? What about if your pangender? I was out a good three, four hours in the town center and not sure about using the toilets. It shouldn't have to be a case of "but which one is for me?", there should options for people to use the toilet. Its 2014 and that some people are unsure of where they should pee is horrifying. Yes the disabled toilet is open to all genders, but I am not physically disabled. Mentally disabled and visionary impaired yes but not physically. I feel the same way about using the disabled toilets as I do about using disabled parking spaces, its not okay for someone able-bodied to do so. There is only one disabled toilet, why should I use it when they're are plenty of able-bodied toilets? The answer is I shouldn't. But that doesn't answer the question of where do I use the bathroom?
Its not just bathrooms either, its changing rooms too. Which one as someone not on the binary I am supposed to use? I am lucky that I am not a fan of the gym or swimming but some people are. Some swimmers happen to fall outside the gender binary, where do they get changed into their swimming suits? They are forced to pick one and misgender themselves, which to some is a big deal while others are willing to go with the flow. I however get terrible anxiety whenever I am forced to misgeder myself, over come with dread about being found out as not that gender and fear that I am going to get beat up for not being that gender. This is something that many non-binary people have to face.
I have been a long time supporter of gender neutral bathrooms and changing rooms. When I was ten years old my family went to a trip to Eurodisney land or Disneyland Paris, this was before I fully understood my gender. I was a "girl" but I never felt fully like a girl, even on days where I dressed myself head to toe in pink and stood for three hours to see Princess Aurora and Prince Philip. We stayed at the Davy Crockett Ranch because its easier and more practical to escape to your own log cabin when you have a child under three and two children on the Autism Spectrum. On the ranch was a swimming pool that we liked to visit as a family, where the changing rooms where gender neutral. You just walked in and went into these like compartments with wooden doors and you just changed in there. No one was forced to be misgendered, parents didn't have to worry about children going into a changing room unattended, it was amazing. I don't know if this was just the ranch or if all Paris changing rooms are like this, either way I think its something that needs to be brought over here.
I want gender neutral toilets and changing rooms. If comments about urinals, couldn't urinals be put in stalls too? I know my brother hates the idea of strangers seeing his penis and I can image that he's not the only one. Some gents and people who are non-binary are going to feel self conscious at the urinals. Gender neutral places are not only safe places but everyone feels comfortable. There is more then just cisgender, transgender and demi. Some people fall outside the binary and because of binary bias we don't see that presented.
In town yesterday, there was another example of the binary bias erasing everyone who was not on the binary. We went into the card shop so she could buy her sister a birthday and sure enough everything was split into the "pink for girls, blue for boys" world with girl titles and boy titles and nothing was gender neutral are designed for those not on the binary. It was all mother, father, sister, brother, niece, nephew, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle and that was all. It was honestly soul crushing and yet another reminder that my existence would be erased because I am pangender and do not fall on the binary. I am "wrong" even though being another gender is perfectly okay, it is yet to be a social norm.
I am pangender, sometimes I need to pee. I should be allowed to enter somewhere and not be afraid or unsure about bathroom choices. I'm not some mythological fairy tale creature, I am an actual human being. I live just like you do, I'm obsessed with pizza just like you-mine probably has less dairy and meat products but its still pizza. The only difference with me to most people is my gender. I am pangender, I feel I identify with all the genders. Just has bigender is male and female, trigender is a third gender, pangender is all the genders. I don't see it as a hard concept to gasp but some people, practically those on the binary bias do seem to have a hard time gasping what pangender is. A lot of people have made all sorts of accusations, including how its "transphobic" which is laughable really. There is nothing wrong with being pangender or any other gender that is not strictly binary. Until people stop their prejudice against non-binary genders, I fear I'll never feel safe using a bathroom that's not in the comfort of my own home. Never to use a public changing rooms out of fear. And people tell me that there's no such thing as a binary bias.
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